[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hello to those who answer this,

I had a really nasty jolt today and I wanted to know if my reaction is normal, usual, possible or warranted.

I have someone within named Megan. she does get out at times. She isn't nice, she is mean, vindictive, very scary; she shares her thoughts with others but won't let them hear her regular thoughts if you know what I mean? She will think things to us but it's all one way; only the thoughts she wants us to hear. She makes me run (if you understand what that means?).

Today I was reading my email list and five times the name MEGAN was written on five seperate lines (in 5 seperate emails).

I just froze, literally could not move. I cried and wanted to run but there was only inside to go, and I've just come out of there. I didn't know what to do and I felt utterly panic stricken. I looked in all directions for an escape and had to put the puter down and leave the room until I was more composed and able to return and delete the messages (I couldn't even read them).

Does this mean that it's time to deal with that part? Because I don't think I'm ready and blissfully she has been sleeping inside since I was put on heavier medication.

This really did throw me, but I didn't really run too far before I was able to come back and in some way deal with what I felt confronted by. So I am stronger than I was a couple of weeks ago. Though I suppose deleting the messages wasn't that brave was it?

[silentwhisper]

Originally Posted by Rhiannonsmoon

Hello to those who answer this,

I had a really nasty jolt today and I wanted to know if my reaction is normal, usual, possible or warranted.

I have someone within named Megan. she does get out at times. She isn't nice, she is mean, vindictive, very scary; she shares her thoughts with others but won't let them hear her regular thoughts if you know what I mean? She will think things to us but it's all one way; only the thoughts she wants us to hear. She makes me run (if you understand what that means?).

Today I was reading my email list and five times the name MEGAN was written on five seperate lines (in 5 seperate emails).

I just froze, literally could not move. I cried and wanted to run but there was only inside to go, and I've just come out of there. I didn't know what to do and I felt utterly panic stricken. I looked in all directions for an escape and had to put the puter down and leave the room until I was more composed and able to return and delete the messages (I couldn't even read them).

Does this mean that it's time to deal with that part? Because I don't think I'm ready and blissfully she has been sleeping inside since I was put on heavier medication.

This really did throw me, but I didn't really run too far before I was able to come back and in some way deal with what I felt confronted by. So I am stronger than I was a couple of weeks ago. Though I suppose deleting the messages wasn't that brave was it?

Your reaction is definitely normal and, yes, it sounds like you might need to deal with Megan. I think you were strong to come back and face it, even if it was just by deleting them. Maybe next time you could have a friend read them for you and summarize so that you build up to reading them yourself. Idk. Take good care of you.

[Lillyleaf]

(((((hugs)))
Yes this is normal, but I dont know how to answer your other questions,
i wish you the best!

[QUEEN OF WANDS]

i think you did well because you did not completely "run" away .. other than that i can only offer some support..stay strong

[Hunny]

(((( Rhiannonsmoon ))))

Here is hoping you can get to find out what is going on.

[anderson]

(((to all within)))
we are listening and yes when a part is spending so much time out we try to deal with that parts issue.
just know we have been listening.

[REINE D AMOUR]

hello dear ,it is normal and your reaction was more than good .

[lonegael]

I'm glad you came back again. Sounds like the two of you sometime are going to have to work this out when you're ready, dear. It's not good that she sends you running like this, and I wonder if there is something about you that she needs to say too. 'Nuff said, I think you were very brave to come back so soon and do what you felt you had to do.