I'm running away. I need my own life and it hurts inside so bad I can't stand it. I want someone to hold me and love me for ME--Vicki--I want to be seen more than someone to have sex with or someone to smack around.
w_i has a great life. Now it's time for ME. No one will miss me cause they don't care about me anyway. Soon they'll forget about w_i. I can stay front for a long time-she stays in alot anyway.
H is gone this week. Paycheck in the bank Fri. Then we're gone.
Vicki

{{{{{ Vicki }}}}}

I know you're hurting sweetie, but you don't want to run away. Maybe people here can't hold you, but we do love and care about you.

Come sit in the boat. We'll go cruisin', just me and you.

Petunia

I can't stay. I remember bad stuff that I can't let w_i remember. Can I get rid of me and not hurt the rest of us??
Vicki

Vicki,

I'm sending you a PM so watch for it.

Petunia

PS...you need to call your T right away. Promise me?

Petunia is right, vicki. You need to call your T and tell her how you are feeling right now.

We want you to stay; please don't run away.

Caroline, elsie, alice , shula and baby

Bad memories
Bad, hurting things.
Vicki

[nothemama8]

Vicki, dearheart we have been in the same spot as you and about 20 yrs ago we allowed an alter to take us away, we we're gone for 4 months and thankfully we came back, Papa was sooooo hurt but tried understand what we were going through and no questions asked took us into his arms and we have been there ever since, honey talk to your T, it will help
Angie

[Zorah]

(((((Vicki)))))
We know how tempting this running away scenario is. In fact once we dissociated entirely & did run away. It won't work. PM me Vicki.
Raven Girl.

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((((((((vicki))))))))))))))))))

i know it's hard, but you need to stay put. please stay put and keep talking...

be safe,

If I take her away, she'll never know what H did to us. He's nice to her now. They worked it out. but she doesn't know really. I do cause he did it all to me. It was awful and very very bad. I made sure she didn't get hurt. Now I think I will pack.
Vicki

[kimmydawn]

vicki you need to stay put, hon. can you call the t and talk to her about it? can you tell her that you need to talk about some things that w_i can't know? can you try to do that? it would be hard, i know.

i hope you will.

It's all hurting too much. He's really good to her now. He really is. He's not bad now. He loves her.
I don't think I can get fixed. I'm really all broken and messed up. He did really bad nasty stuff. He was messed up then--not now. But I don't think I want to be around him anymore. I don't know what to do.
Vicki

Hi Vicki

I'm sorry you are hurting so much.

I don't know what you should do either. But I think talking to your T would be a good start. Tell her how you feel. I also think you need to be kind to yourself.

PM me if it will help.

Caroline et al

[shadowdancer]

(((((((((Vicki)))))))))

i'm late again. but i am here now and Vicki, i really hope you won't run away.

i know how scary things can get and i know that those memories hurt you and that you don't want them to hurt anyone else. i know. that's just more proof that you are a good and kind person.

please talk to your T about this, maybe something can be worked out. you are a very important member of your system. you help deedee when she is sad and upset, you help w_i when she can't function because of pain. and you help a lot of us here especially as we watch you grow and manage your pain and anger. we are supporting you 100%.

the memories you are carrying are not easy ones and running away won't make them go away, unfortunately. stay and work through them...that's the only way to put them in the past where they belong. not very fair, huh?

i'm right here if you ever need to talk, Vicki. i will help any way that i can, ok?


shadow