just wanting someone with whom to talk

struggling right now...need to get thru one more day of work before the holidays

((((((SilentWhisper))))))

(((((((((((((((Silent Whisper )))))))))))))))) your not alone when things get to be too much

come here and find someone to talk to .....

You are worth a whole lot, please try to remember that.

(((((silentwhisper))))))

Things are really really hectic at my work leading up to the holidays, so I can understand.

Dawn is not doing well. It finally got to the point she let me out. She feels she really does not contribute enough to make her life worthwhile. Many of us inside are worried about the holidays and her not having to work kuz then she loses her sense of purpose. Talk is nice but she just is not being real right now for it to help.

Storm

silentwhisper,

sorry things are hard for you right now too!!! um not sure what if anything I can do to help, however I will check in and be here to listen and try to help and understand or just be a listen ear k? please just try and know to get by minute by minute as I am sure your already doing and doing a good job...safe hugs if okay

we need/want a safe place to be us...we need processing time...just struggling to make things make sense

How could this be achieved? Is that what your asking? I am not sure like are your the main person in your system? Sorry not trying to be ignorant or anything or RUDE...Trying to be helpful...Like is there anyone that can give someone like you a break so you can just rest?....Or is it like you have a full agenda ahead because of the holiday's and stuff and it's just too much and triggering you? I am sorry....Not trying to make things worse Would like to be helpful? Maybe I didn't read enough into what your trying to say?

I am Storm. Dawn is the host. I am her protector. Lately we have had standing orders not to come out and we have respected that. Finally Dawn has become overwhelmed enough to allow me out. Problem is tho she has just been existing and being whatever people need her to be and has not been processing things...we need a chance to have some privacy and sort thru some of the stuff...like the possibility of cancer, and her hubby's ex-girlfriend showing up at church, and the kids wanting more than she has to offer...right now her hubby giving me a hard time and i cannot let him know it is i.

Wow,
First hi Storm...
You do have allot to deal with, and I betcha that Dawn is very fortunate to have you! Okay how would you get that down time? Does the husband know about the possibility of cancer....I am so sorry to hear that might even be in the future? That is terribly to even contemplate. I understand kids are so demanding, however some times we just have to realize no matter what they will just be themselves and it's not a personal reflection on what kind of parent we are. I know I think I remember from a post I read that there can be guilt when we have been away from our kids do to "issues" or what not but kids are resilient so we just need to luv them and keep letting them know we luv them and hopefully there father can help out? Hmm the husband giving her a bad time? This is difficult. I understand not being able to say who you are. Others in our system have been in this position before? I wish I had the perfect answer... Dunno...I care though...SOUNDS horribly overwhelming and stressful...I can see why this is hard for Dawn and why your trying to help.. I know someone here will come up with some great to help...Just wish I could help more...

You are helping, I promise. Her hubby knows yet they do not have insurance and cannot afford for her to go have a mammogram. Since she is not "sick", it is not that big of a concern I think. He just not get her/us nor does he want to. He is happiest when we stay just Dawn.

Uggg the no insurance thing....I hate that insurance can be a death sentence

I understand that in our significant others eyes they want us to be whom they married whom ever that is! My husband is like that with me, and I know your NOT Dawn ,but you know what I mean! However I think it's just so hard for them to accept that they can't well with NO INSURANCE take care of you the way you need, plus then it's like when your not at home it's like there whole world really does fall apart. You guy's are so very strong to do all you do...Yes I do understand as were talking now what it does do to all of you inside...The amount endurance and just freaking stability it takes to wake up each day and keep going...Especially to work...Just remember that as in all things it's temporary...It will pass. Also Dawn has those wonderful kids that are why she keeps going. So just to take every minute I don't care were or when she can sneak it in just to go inside and relax take short breaks color play watch a cartoon anything that allows her to relieve stress...You and whomever else inside will know what to do to take care of her. Allow these things to comfort her...Help her get thru these times...She needs you all right now....Protect her...Like you already are here doing. Seeking help guidance...It will work out...With someone like you I would feel comfortable Your doing a good job.... So I hope that she is okay with you talking to me, and if you guy's want anytime you can pm me k...I will be back later if not tomorrow...Please check in let me know how you all are doing okay.....Safe, safe hugs
Kalisha

had a flashback last night...really struggling today and i am at work...first time i have come here while at work all school year...i just keep having body memories...idk what to do

really struggling to ground and noone seems to be around

i hurt and hurt and hurt some more...stuck in this prison

Hi,

I am sorry that I am just now getting back...Things are crazy,,,No excuse. I see things are no better? I don't know how to help? Does the weekend make things better or worse? Do your kids have like winter break now? Are you getting any time off work for holidays? So sorry things are not getting better? Will try to be here on and off tonight between making dinner for kids and doing games with them...I should have checked in sooner...

u have no responsibilities to me and do not have to check in at all tho i do appreciate the effort...it has not been the best of afternoons but i have to try and survive, right?

Erm no not a responsibility but as a friend, which I hope to achieve at some point which is EARNED in a long time from now, you do that by trying to establish that you care and that's by listening and caring cuz you WANT to be here and because you tell someone you will be checking in cuz you WANT to! Your right you do have to survive. It's your job to a degree because your helping Dawn to survive if I am still talking to Storm that is get thru this hellish time....So then you need to pull it together the best you can, but I am here cuz I want to be.... I do care...It's hard no doubt....It's hell...I just don't know how to help? I don't know what your normally allowed to do or not do? What your outlet's are? I don't know anything really? I am just trying to be supportive not....hurtful or upset you?

I am still Storm tho let Dawn out most of the day to deal with school kids as she is much more patient than I am. Not allowed too many outlets save for this one here. I am struggling as I feel so alone yet being alone also saves one from additional pain. I just live in this out-of control house and I have no desire to continue living like this.

Is there anything I can do to help? I dunno what to do? Besides be here try to listen? I am sorry....Seems so helpless at this juncture...I understand it..I come here and try to relieve stress for a bunch of us, as I respond differently do the rest sitting there eating there dessert or the one leaving to respond to emergency's and I have to take care of everything ARG!!! I understand patience can become thin...I am sorry for this...Offering a listening ear...I know that really dose not stop the pain and control the urges of just wanting it all to END!!! SRY for that.....

i cannot even come up with a game plan it seems

i am struggling...things not so good..now people here for church...no me time...better go...whats it matter anyway

I'm so sorry that you all are stuck in that place! We know what that is like, especially the old core. As to your "whats it matter", it matters a lot!! Your well being is very important to a lot of people, otherwise no one would respond to this thread, right? We can relate to work (although in our case school) stress... It is awful, isn't it? We have read through this whole thread and it seems that Kalisha will be here for you, at least. And so will we. We can't help much, since most of us are pretty young, but we can always offer a shoulder to cry on or a person to lean on. Feel free to leave us a visitor message or PM us anytime at all, ok? We are keeping you in our thoughts.

s,
(Bella) Lizabelle

((((((((((silentwhisper)))))))))))))))

Still here hun...I have been checking in...I have no words to take away the pain and the struggle....I know this is just an overwhelming time...We don't even celebrate the holiday's so I can't even IMAGINE that on top of it...

But just having our three kids here and we have there three kids too on top of it...As parent's there (the kids being happy) is part of us trying to be okay? I know it's overwhelming...And part's of us saying YES when inside were so overwhelmed and feeling like hiding is so understandable that we feel like were coming out of our skin...

This thread is NOT about us, so I just want you to know that although we are in NO way going thru what you and yours are going thru we care and will be here to try to understand and just listen best we can k? hugs....

ok...i feel bad for saying this but I think I am beginning to hate church...some guy showed up at ouir door today, wanting us to let a lady who used to attend the church come live with us awhile...another member has hubby playing mediator between him and his wife who is filing for divorce (hubby wants me talking to her next)...then the other Sunday School teacher says the guy she was renting a room from his mother tried killing her and kicked her out...well he has called here at least 6 times today...all this drama...what about our life...am I no longer entitled to one of my own???? I cannot take on anything else. And what about my own well-being...noone cares as long as they are fed and have clean clothes...