[invisigirl]

I am writing a book this month. This is not my first book, it is my third.

This book I am writing right now is about a woman with DID. I have it broken up into sections - there is her (host/core) and there are 4 of her main alters. The story I am using has a lot of me in it, a lot of my own story. I had contemplated writing a memoir type book, and I normally write fiction (often loosely based off my own experiences).. so this just seemed to make sense.

Something funny about this... I have spent so much time writing this (I'm writing it for National Novel Writing Month aka NaNoWriMo - the goal is to write 50,000 words in 30 days), that now I find myself confused sometimes. In a way, I wondered if it might help me sort out my own missing chunks of memory by writing it in 3rd person (this has helped me before), but I've included a lot (almost everything in it) that did not happen to me in addition to stuff that did.. so it is almost distorting reality even more. Kind of annoying.

Also, a good chunk of what is written from the host/core's point of view takes place in her therapist's office. and I have found myself thinking that it is me talking to my T - so I think about my coming appointment (tomorrow) and think about what will happen this week but NONE of this stuff is stuff that I have talked to her about yet. So that is kind of frustrating because I feel like I am working with the therapist in the book more than with my own.

I don't think I have ever gotten so wrapped up in a story I'm writing before. It's a little freaky. I am not enjoying writing it as much as I have my other books.. it feels so boring and super depressing. Not sure if I will ever really 'finish' this one...

[Irine]

I had a very depressing writing experience when i was 17. I wrote a book about a girl who is being abused in the family. Just to discover that today that all those things i wrote actually happened to me this way or another, no by family - while i was completely dissociating.

I feel you completely. I think that opening up to your therapist is a good idea...Depression can be touch and dangerous especially with PTSD together

[invisigirl]

I can relate to that too.. definitely. A recurrent and almost constant theme in my writing since my teens has been rape. Which is very odd to me. I was never raped, so I don't know why this always seems to happen in my writing. I do often have other abuse going on my stories - violence and incest - that is similar to things that did happen to me... but I don't understand this urge to always have rape scenes. Perhaps it's a subconscious fear? Or maybe it has something to do with me having frequent dreams in which I am raped.

Today in therapy we talked quite a bit about my teen years. Coincidentally, we got on the topic because I was talking about my writing. My first book was based very loosely off when I ran away as a teen - so we got to talking about that experience.

[Miracle1986]

(((invisigirl)))
I wish you luck in your writing endeavors

[michelle421]

i think many types of writing can be very helpful. my partner has thought about writing books that relate to her life experiences. it would be hard at times, but also therapeutic in a way. just make sure you take care of yourself in the process.

[anderson]

(((invisigirl)))
In each one of my stories I have looked at and delt with many of my past abuse issues. It helped me by bringing it out to the open but also put it in a more nutrual postion. That helped break the ice within to allow other alters to share.
I also have a group of storytellers that give us stories that help us overcome the fear and the pain of our past. They give us hope of a better future.
For us writting help us to heal in so many ways.

[invisigirl]

I find writing very therapeutic as well. I always have.

I am finally starting to enjoy this book a bit more... one of the bad people in the book (based on one of my abusers) has shown up in the present and stalks her. She catches him... and stabs him.

Rather satisfying... I must say.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Patting you on the back and sending you as much encouragement as I could give to anyone doing such a brave thing. I think you are wonderful!

Rhiannon

[anderson]

Originally Posted by invisigirl

I find writing very therapeutic as well. I always have.

I am finally starting to enjoy this book a bit more... one of the bad people in the book (based on one of my abusers) has shown up in the present and stalks her. She catches him... and stabs him.

Rather satisfying... I must say.

(((invisigirl)))
LOL that is what we enjoy about writing is that we can make the ending the way we want it. It is amazing how just wrighting about how we would if we could have gives us back our power and courage that the dark souls in our lives have taken from us.
Keep us updated and know that we to are chearing you on.

[Aynetal3]

We are just going through our first published book experience. It's been a long time since we've been back around multiples, but it seemed right for wherever we are today. I hope you don't mind if we join in. Writing fiction is too frustrating, but i admire those who can do it. There are so many minute details to think through you really have to love that kind of work to do it as consistently as you have to. The writing we do is through journaling/blogging. We write mostly about stuff that is happening in and around our daily life.

I'm in a kind of strange bind right now in that the book has finally come out and we're waiting for some kind of initial feedback. It's a bit unnerving to put yourself out there and not know the impressions of others reading it. Maybe when a few comments come in we'll let go of some of the worrying, but then that wouldn't be our style. We worry and wonder a lot. Probably what makes us good at writing. We can continue threads of thought for very long periods of writing. I couldn't imagine what our lives would be like without it. We've started almost 25 years ago and work on it every day in one form or another.

One way or another ... I'd like to thank you for having this thread. When I saw it and then read it ... I felt finally like I had some place I could go that felt like home. Thanks for that.

Ann

[Lillyleaf]

Hey,
Maybe why this book is so boring is because it is so real, and a bunch of it takes place in someones head. When someone reads a book part of the fun is that the idea of "it could never happen to you". When I read something that is about abuse, depression, or anything that I can relate to my mind kind of blocks it out. It is very sur-real to deal with the emotions. I usally go "this book is stupide" or "it is boring! I dont want to read it" even if the book is exstreamly well written. Sometimes at least for me, I run from things that I can relate to to clossly.
Just a thought

I love the fact that you are writting a book, if you ever finish it, let me read it!!! And you can always give a cliff ending if you get too bored. But it is your world.

Kepp writting

~Jenny

[Perna]

Did you "win" with Nano? I did it also again this year. My last year's book sounds a little like yours in that I had my therapy appointments and stuff. It takes a lot of words to go to the therapist each week, LOL: http://mysharingspaceonline.com/story.pdf

[dawnhopeful]

I have started writing a book about my childhood experiences and how abusive my dad was. To aid me in this task, I am doing a course in memoir writing. Hoping that this will help me put my experiences together so that they make a story. They are not fictional events, so this is not a fiction book. What really concerns me is that my family has already expressed a warning to me about making my past known to people who we have associated with in the past
dawnhopeful