observant or not

Is it called a Dissociative Disorder when one on the one hand believes that one should follow a particular religious persuasion and on the other hand feels that organized religion is a negative, destructive thing? At the moment I want to go to synagogue and eventually move to Israel, but on the other hand I remember that not too long ago I called myself a spiritual person, but not a follower of any particular religion
dawnhopeful
I remember that my mom was religious. She had a great longing for Israel and asked me why I didnt want to move there. My dad, on the other hand never followed the Jewish dietary laws. He never believed that the soul gets transported to another dimension when one dies.

listening and caring

People can have different opinions about the same thing without it being a dissociative disorder. It sounds like you might just be weighing the way different things would affect you, and that is normal. Are there any other symptoms you are experiencing?

Well, dawnhopeful, it sounds as if during your childhood you received conflicting messages from your mom and dad regarding religion and its importance in your life. And it also sounds as if those conflicting messages have stayed with you into your present life. You actually have more than two choices, though. You could choose any level of formal Jewish observance, of which there are now quite a few. Or you could stick with your prior ideas about organized religion not being a great thing and striking out on your own. To me it seems that you need to think seriously about what kind of a God (if any) you really believe in, and then think about what kind (or level) of worship is appropriate in your own eyes. This is not necessarily a short-term proposition. People have spent many years coming to this kind of decision. But in my view everyone has to start out by deciding what and who they really do believe in, and why. A lot of the other decisions just flow from that one. Take care!

one person being conflicted about religion, or any other topic is not the same as having a dissociative disorder.

Sometimes completely normal people do bounce around through different religions and beliefs before they find the right one for them.

Here the mental health community believe having a dissociative disorder is having one or more of the following -

Dissociative Amnesia
Dissociating to the point where you experience memory loss
Dissociative Identity Disorder
Having two or more alternate personalities recurrently taking control,
Which cannot be contributed to medications/drugs/alcohol and medical
conditions.
Dissociative Fugue
moving to a new location and starting life as a different person while in
a dissociated frame of mind where there is no memory of your previous
life. usually precipitated /caused by a traumatic event.
Depersonalization
being in a state of mind of being not in touch with yourself. Some people
discribe this as a feeling of numbness/floating/out of body/ along with
other symptoms
Derealization
Being in a state of mind where you perceive the world around you is not
connected to yourself. some people describe this as feeling like seeing
the world as being in slow motion/sped up/ not real among other
descriptions.
Dissociative Disorders Not Otherwise Specified.
Having symptoms of any or all of the above Dissociative disorders
but not enough to pin point one specific disorder.

each one of these in itself has criteria and none of them contain anything about one person being conflicted about religion or any other topic.

this is just a short summary of each dissociative disorder, there is much more involved with each of them and other locations and mental health communities may believe differently.

((((downhopofully))))
the path of religon can take you in many directions. I do not consider myself a person of reliogan but a person of faith. even during the bad times there was a spiritual presents that helped keep me/us alive. How you describe that feeling can be described as religon. but faith is the inner knowing that something is present in a spiritual form that is walking with you as you make life choices.
good luck in finding that which you can believe in.

Thanks amanda louise for this summary.
I think I was sexually abused as a young child. But I cant remember the exact circumstances
When I was about 18 years I experienced life as if I was looking at it, through the wrong end of binoculars. Scenes were smaller.
When I went back to school about 10 years ago, I was harassed by a teacher. The councillor told me that he was almost certain that I had been sexually abused. I then began to connect the dots to experiences I have had in my life
dawnhopeful