[justdontknow]

Hi everyone.

I know it has been a while since I posted in the forum so I hope to be back more and maybe post more. I start back at college in two days and I am scared. The dean of students asked me to leave college after some incidences with some of my alters a year ago and I had to leave. Since then I have been working with my counselor and the dean to get myself readmitted so I can finish my degree. My worry is that college will be too much and I will dissociate and my alters will take over. One of them flunked two tests for me on purpose last time I was there. I know that we have better communication and we are supposed to have an agreement that that is not supposed to happen again, but I can't help but worry. Do you think these worries are unfounded? What do you think I can do to have a successful semester without all the stress and anxiety? I really want to be successful and basically this is my last chance. I don't want to blow it. If anyone has any advice, it would be greatly appreciated. Support is always a plus and welcomed as well. Thanks.

Cris from the hotel

[Perna]

I think you have done all you can, have been working with your counselor and the dean, etc. so I think you have to have faith it will work. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work, it is not the end of the world. I was thinking, reading your post, maybe an online university where you had papers to write instead of so many tests, etc. and not quite as much stress might help if this doesn't work? I would have a "Plan B" (and maybe C and D :-) of other things to try to both finish your degree now or do something else for awhile and finish it later.

[kasva]

Hi Justdontknow, I dont have any real advice except to say youve done a lot of work to be where you are at. That is so brave of you. Can you still see your counselor while you are at school? I hope so. I just want you to know that im thinking of you and wishing the best for you and am really proud of the steps you have taken........kasva

[DancingAlone]

dear justdontknow,

for some reason the web site wouldn't let me copy it's http address (maybe because it's an adobe file?) but if you do a search for: college accommodation letter there is a sample letter you could write to your college/professor requesting that accommodations be made for your particular situation. for instance, you could request that if an alter fails a test for you, that you be allowed to take it over. i hope this may help you.

[there is also one for jobs under JAN Job Accommodation Network for disabilities. http://askjan.org/ ]

i wish you well.

[justdontknow]

Thank you Perna, kasva and DancingAlone for your responses and support. They are much appreciated. I started classes today and I felt good about them.

Cris

[michelle421]

hi cris! i hope classes are going well for you! i'm glad to hear from you. (i haven't been around here at pc much lately... life is busy, but i think of you every so often)

i think it's great that you are starting up school again, and i agree it sounds like you've done a lot of work to get back into school with a fresh start. i think it's important to have support while in school. school itself is stressful for a lot of people! i hope you continue to have support from your counselor and dean. also, my partner has had a disability services counselor at certain schools to help her with accommodations such as special test-taking arrangements. or at times my partner has had her therapist write a doctor's note excusing a late assignment when her alters have made it impossible to get her work done on time. most of the time teachers were flexible with making arrangements for late assignments (every once in a while... not as a regular thing, though). i often remind my partner that even if something doesn't go just as planned (getting an assignment done on time) it will be ok. no one is perfect. just do your best, and make the most of learning!

i would also like to respectfully challenge your idea that this would be your last chance. i've heard my partner say that before when she was really struggling with school, and yet she is still hanging on and working through it. at times, it's been a struggle, but each school has taught her something about herself, and now she's found a better fit to finish her undergrad degree. she's got a plan to hopefully finish in a year and a half (and it's been a number of years since she began her journey to get this degree).

there are a number of paths that we could take in life... and i really believe that there are many options if one thing doesn't work out. keep working hard, but know that other options like a different school, just part-time school or online classes can help as well. my partner has been to many schools over the years, and each semester she learns something new, whether it's in class, or learning new lessons about what works for her and what doesnt. those lessons are valuable, and if one school isn't right for you, don't try to make it. my partner had a really hard time at the last university she went to, and it was difficult to decide to transfer to yet another school, but it was a great decision. she started at the new school last fall with one online class. that online class went REALLY well. it was a great fit for my partner. now she is going to two night classes there. this is the second week of classes, and i think it seems to be going well for these in-person classes now. the smaller school with more non-traditional students is a better fit for her because she is older than most undergrad students at any major university.

anyway, i wish you the best of luck with school this time around. do your best and take care of yourself. you are great no matter what. you have such an amazing self with talents and gifts no one else has. i am happy to know you and i am wishing you the best with school.