[Elysium]

So the last couple weeks, I've been riding on the high of having my gastric bypass surgery, and the initial weight loss. It's been kind of great.

But the last couple days.....I've been feeling that sense of darkness creeping back. It's gross and I've tried to push it away, and I've sat thinking about how my T would help me through it and what she would say. I was able to keep it at bay doing that, but yesterday morning, while I was walking my dog, I heard this sound.

I heard this sound and it was the sound of metal sliding across medal. It was the sound of the shed doors in the backyard of my childhood home, but it wasn't. That noise took me instantaneously back to that place. I got goosebumps...I felt like I had been snatched, as if strapped to a bungee cord that had been stretched all the way and that I had been pulled inward. I felt scared and little. I tried talking to my parts about it, but all I could see was Nissa standing by the shed...looking like she didn't want to go in but she had too or else.

I told myself that that noise was a long time ago, that it wasn't now and that we were all okay....but it didn't really help. Since yesterday, I have been stuck somewhere floating inside and I can't tell if we're stuck or if we're hiding. Either way...I don't like it. Why did we have to hear that sound.....why does everything have to come back?

Oh Elysium!

((((Hugs)))). Im so sorry you're going through this right now. I know how scary it is to be thrust back into childhood. Im here if u want to talk. My feedback would be to keep comforting yourself and talking to your parts.

Love and hugs, Tara

[Korin]

(((hug))))

[krazy_phoenix]

((((((((((((Elysium))))))))))))))
I'm so sorry this is happening for you.
Thinking of you.
kp

[wanttoheal]

(((((((((((((((Elysium))))))))))))))))))))
It's so hard when things throw us back into a time in the past. I'm so sorry that happened. Good on you for talking through it and letting everyone know that it's not happening now. That is so hard to do in the moment.

I hope things calm down for you very soon. Take gentle care.

[Elysium]

Thanks for the support everyone...

I'm feeling better, but it really took me a couple days to climb out of that inner funk, and I still feel a little bit held back from myself.

I hope someday I'll be able to get myself back faster....it takes so long to recover from getting yanked out of reality into the abyss of dissociation. I guess it's a good thing that I can see that that is what's happening though and recognize it. A few years back I think it would have taken a lot longer for me to crawl back out of that.

Slow and steady....

[Yoda]

((((Elysium))))

(((Elysium)))

I'm sorry you had to feel the past creeping up like that. It IS scary but your skills and grounding will get you through. (And we'll help too)