[Monty_girl]

I'm not sure if this is normal for most ppl or not, but it's happened to me a couple of times. Just not very often and only when they are ready for me to see them. But this morning I was shown another piece's face. She looked as rough as I thought she would. But nothing like I imagined. One side of her head is scarred and doesn't have any hair on that side. But it's weird it's like it's scrred with cuts that go down to her neck. She has really weird make-up and punked out hair.

It's weird is like I close my eyes and she's looking right at me from a foot away. It's not scary or anything. A little releaf to have a face to go along with her name.

Monty

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((((monty))))))))))))))

kd

[Rhapsody]

YES, this is normal.... I have been there many times over and it still takes me for a spin from time to time, even after 10 years of knowing. Hang in there integration is possible, I am living proof.... down to 2 - her and me.

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

Yes its normal for a person with DID to have this happen.

Its the memory of you at a certain age. Basically how you looked when that memory was separated. To figure it out look at photos of yourself at all different ages and match what you saw with the photos. memory pieces are the age that, that memory of the abuse situation was stored separated in the unconcious level so comparing pictures of you to the flashback memory of you will then let you know how old that piece of memory is.

To figure out the name of that memory piece think about all the people that were in your life around that time period that you looked like that. When children dissociate they can only imagine what they have contact with so that memory piece name is the name of someone they had contact with. So the name of this memory is the name of someone you had contact with at that time period when you were that age that matches the photo and flashback memory of you.

As for the memory content that is whatever that specific situation was that forced you to dissociate so think about the types of abuse you already know was happening around that time period.

The fact that you are now seeing flashback faces of memory pieces means more flashbacks are on its way. don't panic its just the brains way of bringing the unconscious memoriys back into the conscious level for matching and being stored the way they should have been in the conscious level like a normal memory.

Now is the time to set up coping strategies like an emergency contact list of numbers and names you can call when the flashbacks get rough. Let your therapist know this is happening, he or she might want to up the amount of sessions so that both you and the therapist is ready for the new batch of past memorys and content. Stock up on easy to manage meals. I cook alot then freeze in serving sizes so when this happens to me all I have to do is pull out the amount of food needed and zap it in the microwave for a couple minutes you have a meal that usually takes a half hour to cook in just 2-5 minutes. Make a comfort box - take a cardboard box, decorate it if you want and put inside it those things that bring you comfort when having a rough time that way when things seem you are just going nuts and cant think about where everything is and so on all you have to do is open the box and theres the blanket, toy (s) drawing supplies journal writing utensils and so on. put your bills in stamped envelopes with dated checks or your bank card in one place so that when it comes time to pay the bills all you need to do is pop them in the mail or call the company and give them the number on your bank card....

Hang in there you are going to feel nuts and alone but you aren't I have gone though this many times, in fact one such time is in my blog, I didn't write about the part of seeing the face of me(I took that part out because no one here needs to know what I looked like then) but did write on the blog about the memory that came the last time I went through this and how it it happened and how I handled it. most of it is a poem called integrated memories of Darlene. Darlene was the memory piece face of me at the age that Darlene was my teacher. Take care.

edited -
I just went back to my blog and realized I had made a couple other changes besides taking out what I looked like back then - I changed the title from integration of Darlene because it was more about Sunday and the title of that entry is The integration Process, and I had also taken out when I posted it the abuse situation that had caused these memories to be separated and put in my unconscious because those parts in the poem descibed some stuff that would give away locations and if relatives saw it they would recognize the situation. -- Without the identifying locators - After these people left town I had corresponded with one of them and during an abuse situation I was forced to give up contact and told I was to blame for their having to leave. After locating the real person Darlene her and I pieced together what the events were in our lives back then. It was this work that gave way for the memories for and of Sunday to begin coming to and integrating in the conscious level of thinking for me which is the process that is described in my blog.

[Monty_girl]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( KD ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Much Hugs and Loves

Monty's Family

[Monty_girl]

Thanks Rhapsody I'm glad that it's normal. Sometimes I feel like a freak.

It's weird everytime it happens. I've been going through this for the last 6 years now and it always seems to amaze me somedays. I really want some integration. Some has started. I really didn't know how natural it would be. Just like it follows or something. I would like to get down to a managable number. I've had somewhere between 25-30 pieces ( alters ). I would be happy with 5 pieces or 3, but what ever happens, happens and I'll take what I get and be happy with it.

Much Hugs, Monty

[CedarS]

(((((((Monty)))))))

[wanttoheal]

(((((((((((((((((Monty)))))))))))))))
Thinking of you

[Rhapsody]

Dear Monty Girl,

Please keep in mind that while there may be around 30 different pieces in you - that each and every one of them (the alters) are a part of you and they hold the REAL YOU in their hands.... the you that was lost during some traumatic event(s) from your past.

Your DID was a GIFT that saved you from DEATH.... the creative side of your soul that enabled you to live through enormous h*ll without giving up - YOU are SPECIAL!

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))