[Monty_girl]

Hmmmm, T made the comment after our last session about wanting to start recording the sessions. I made it very clear that I didn't want to watch any of the video. The whole idea of seeing what the others say just freaks me out to no end. Before I was dx'ed I was audio recorded during my sessions. I started therapy at my college and the person I was seeing was a student and needed to record the sessions. But I'm not sure if I want to be recorded. I can feel the whole topic is bringing up some kind of issue inside. I do trust my T and I know that the vidoes wouldn't be viewed but by the therapist in the office. I've been with this T for almost 10yrs now. Being treated for DID the whole time. So there is that trust and comfront there in knowing that this T's not going to do anything to harm me. I have a concern that T wants for me to see the others and maybe able to connect to them in that way. Maybe to learn of what really happened to us. I don't know of any other reason to record the sessions. The whole thing is just sending me into a tailspin wanting to SI.

[mortimer]

Did you ask him why? I think you need to ask him why before you worry yourself sick, OK?

Then if that is the reason, explore your fears with him. Maybe you're not ready for it yet. Maybe you need to work on some other stuff before you can be ready.

It's good you trust him. Can you trust him not to make you do anything that's too too too hard for you?

[Monty_girl]

Thanks Mortimer, I know he's not going to make me do anything I'm not comfortable with yet. And I know we can always talk about it. We are going to have to really talk about this before I agree. It seemed like maybe an after thought. He didn't bring it up until the end of the session when we were making our next appointment. I think it's bugging me because we did have a hard session. Not sure what was talked about, I just have that feeling inside of uneasiness that something was brought up and talked about. So I think I'm just buggin from the therapy it's self right now.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Monty_girl

Hmmmm, T made the comment after our last session about wanting to start recording the sessions. I made it very clear that I didn't want to watch any of the video. The whole idea of seeing what the others say just freaks me out to no end. Before I was dx'ed I was audio recorded during my sessions. I started therapy at my college and the person I was seeing was a student and needed to record the sessions. But I'm not sure if I want to be recorded. I can feel the whole topic is bringing up some kind of issue inside. I do trust my T and I know that the vidoes wouldn't be viewed but by the therapist in the office. I've been with this T for almost 10yrs now. Being treated for DID the whole time. So there is that trust and comfront there in knowing that this T's not going to do anything to harm me. I have a concern that T wants for me to see the others and maybe able to connect to them in that way. Maybe to learn of what really happened to us. I don't know of any other reason to record the sessions. The whole thing is just sending me into a tailspin wanting to SI.

Monty girl there are lots of reasons why a therapist video tapes their clients.. my therapist did so that she could look back on the vidoes, see how she was working with me and change how she was doing things..

example one day while watching the video she noticed one alter became uncomfortable with a natural movement my therapist made while that alter was "out". the uncomfortable ness showed its self not in words but in a slight flinching, quick gasp of breath and subtle widening of my eyes for a small moment. after seeing that reaction and why my therapist was able to not make that movement when that alter was "out"

Another reason my therapist videos my sessions is so that she has a documentation of the session. DID is unpredictable. sometimes things get done or said during the session that my therapist isnt quick enough to write down or doenst want to take away from the moment by saying hold on let me write that down. She can relax and know everything is being documents so just deal with me and that moment that we are in.

Another reason my therapist used video taping is because it comes in handy for when she must consult with others.. one time I was making movements she didnt recognize other than knowing they were sign language. using the video she was able to phone a friend of hers that knew sign language, describe what she was seeing and her friend on the other end of the phone transcribe the words. She didnt tell her friend my name or the context that the sign language was used in, just that one of her clients was talking in sign and she needed to know what the letters and words were.

Another reason my therapist used video taping is so that we both have a documentation for those times when I dont remember a session and want to know. All I have to do is call her and say I want to see the video and she will have everything set up for my next appointment so we can watch the video.

my suggestion - maybe you can ask your therapist why they mentioned video taping. it may not be so that you can see what goes on and connect with your alters.

[Monty_girl]

Thank You, this is really helpful. It dawned on me that maybe that's the reason. I've noticed resently that T's been looking pretty sick. Lost alot of weight and not this session but the one before he was really really pale. He normally takes notes, so maybe with whatever he's going through he needs video so to look back on. This makes sense.

My T recorded us on her iphone once just for fun. We couldnt watch it though. The boys (inside) were so upset when they caught a glimpse of the video-- they didnt want to see themselves in a girl body. And our outside looks so much different than our inside bodies.

I hope youre doing ok!