[Macha]

Hi,
I am here as a daughter of a DID mother to tell all of you why I am glad that she is that way. I just want to share the possitive things it has done for me, hoping that it will help people feel better. I am not saying that it was always plain sailing, there where plenty of inconvieniences and some rather unpleasent moments. There were and they where hard. But Mum got therapy and the personalities that were not interested in forming agreements about how to deal with living min a one body comunity intergrated (by working through the traumas that they came into being from, I am told). That helped a lot. It gave room for talk about how the remaining 9 people wanted to live in the one body they have available. And now they have rules and roles and are all loved by me for who they are as individuales.
It is great that my, Mum, Aunt, Uncle, 15, 9, 6, 3, 2 and 1 year old sisters can all come an visit me in my very small house at once and for just one coach fair! If one of the (15 and up) is being a bit of a tool, which is what family do every now and then, the others are right there to mediate and explain points of view. In one place I have the great reaserching abilities of my Uncle, the wonderful money and practicality handling of my Aunt, the artsy fabulousness of my teen sisterand the joyus, heart walming and comforing presence of my little sisters. I love them all and I am not the only one. They don't have a huge amount of people they talk to considering how many of them there are but the friends they have are great. There are 8 in all that they know and love and that love them back. My boyfriend is included in that which is lovely, especially as Mum worried that her DID would get in the way of stuff for me.
There are more great things in there lives than that and many more reasons why I love that they are the way they are but I will leave it at that for now. I hope that knowing that me and my capsule family get on so well might help anyone suffering through the hard bits of mental orders (I never use the "dis" at the begining of that) like that. All the best to all of you reading this.

Macha

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Macha

Hi,
I am here as a daughter of a DID mother to tell all of you why I am glad that she is that way. I just want to share the possitive things it has done for me, hoping that it will help people feel better. I am not saying that it was always plain sailing, there where plenty of inconvieniences and some rather unpleasent moments. There were and they where hard. But Mum got therapy and the personalities that were not interested in forming agreements about how to deal with living min a one body comunity intergrated (by working through the traumas that they came into being from, I am told). That helped a lot. It gave room for talk about how the remaining 9 people wanted to live in the one body they have available. And now they have rules and roles and are all loved by me for who they are as individuales.
It is great that my, Mum, Aunt, Uncle, 15, 9, 6, 3, 2 and 1 year old sisters can all come an visit me in my very small house at once and for just one coach fair! If one of the (15 and up) is being a bit of a tool, which is what family do every now and then, the others are right there to mediate and explain points of view. In one place I have the great reaserching abilities of my Uncle, the wonderful money and practicality handling of my Aunt, the artsy fabulousness of my teen sisterand the joyus, heart walming and comforing presence of my little sisters. I love them all and I am not the only one. They don't have a huge amount of people they talk to considering how many of them there are but the friends they have are great. There are 8 in all that they know and love and that love them back. My boyfriend is included in that which is lovely, especially as Mum worried that her DID would get in the way of stuff for me.
There are more great things in there lives than that and many more reasons why I love that they are the way they are but I will leave it at that for now. I hope that knowing that me and my capsule family get on so well might help anyone suffering through the hard bits of mental orders (I never use the "dis" at the begining of that) like that. All the best to all of you reading this.

Macha

Welcome Macha

most people that I know that have lived with parents that had mental disorders like DID have suffered with mental issues their self like PTSD, mood disorders, and other issues, because of the unpredictably, and instability of their parents switching into all kinds of alters. never knowing whether their mother was going to be a hysterical child crying from the trauma that caused the DID, or be the violent depressed or suicidal alter that hated their life because of the traumas that caused the DID, or the angry acting out of a child destroying, breaking things or temper tantrums, in anger, or of the parenting alter that was using parenting skills of the past that caused them to become DID...

it is heart warming to hear from someone that didnt seem to experience much of their parents alters anger, violent, acting out in negative ways.. Got to be honest being DID myself in the past, now integrated and working with people with DID and their children Im a bit skeptical about how you perceived your childhood as being mostly happy and positive.. I'm glad for you just kind of wondering how you were not exposed to the typical DID horrors that most people who grew up with DID parents went through.

another thing that jumps out at me about your post is the names of your mothers alters... mom, aunt, uncle...and numerical alters.. very interesting to me because they are more "designations" or "status order of the family" than names. I have never heard of anyone that named their alters "designations" or "status orders in the family" instead of names. very interesting.

[Macha]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

Welcome Macha

most people that I know that have lived with parents that had mental disorders like DID have suffered with mental issues their self like PTSD, mood disorders, and other issues, because of the unpredictably, and instability of their parents switching into all kinds of alters. never knowing whether their mother was going to be a hysterical child crying from the trauma that caused the DID, or be the violent depressed or suicidal alter that hated their life because of the traumas that caused the DID, or the angry acting out of a child destroying, breaking things or temper tantrums, in anger, or of the parenting alter that was using parenting skills of the past that caused them to become DID...

it is heart warming to hear from someone that didnt seem to experience much of their parents alters anger, violent, acting out in negative ways.. Got to be honest being DID myself in the past, now integrated and working with people with DID and their children Im a bit skeptical about how you perceived your childhood as being mostly happy and positive.. I'm glad for you just kind of wondering how you were not exposed to the typical DID horrors that most people who grew up with DID parents went through.

another thing that jumps out at me about your post is the names of your mothers alters... mom, aunt, uncle...and numerical alters.. very interesting to me because they are more "designations" or "status order of the family" than names. I have never heard of anyone that named their alters "designations" or "status orders in the family" instead of names. very interesting.

Ah, I think I was not quite clear. There where very hard things about growing up with a DID mum. There where alot of the normal problems assosiated with that. There where violent moments, massive instability, neglect, fear of suicide, comforting of young alters, although no sexual abuse which was the predominat cause of her splits which I think is a credit to her. When I was 11 my mother decided it had to stop for my well fair and went to therapy. The alters who where dangerous intergrated and the ones who wanted to stay and had always been like family decided to become an aliance. They made rules and the main one was no more forced dissosiation. Since I turned 12 there has been no violance, no forced dissosiation, therapy has been the place where the issues mainly come out and appropriate behavior around me has been a priority. They offered not to talk to me but they are my family so I declined though having the choice was healing.
They all have names but I chose to use there family dessignations to protect their identity. It would be there choice to tell people their names. It has not been easy, it has been very hard in places but since they have been in therapy their support has been worth a huge amount to me through my own unrelated traumas. I wrote this post to let people know it can be ok, that life can be good with alters if intergration is not an option for whatever reason, in their case united choice. For you peace of mind I will add that my capsule family is very supportive of me when it comes to working out the issues that where caused by having a DID mother, including finacial help for therapy. I love them and would not chose to not have them in my life. Should one of them wish to intergrate I would support them but it would cause me grief regardles of the fact that they would still be there in some way. I hope this makes more sense now.

[sabby]

(((((((((((( Macha ))))))))))))

Thank you very much for sharing your experience with your mum. I think your mum was very brave and loved you very much to get the help that she needed to protect you and give you a life filled with love and safety. She also did a phenomenal job at raising you, a kind and loving child with deep understanding and compassion. Of course, kudos to you as well!

I am not DID, but my dearest friend is. I would not trade her or her alters for all the money in the world. Over the years, they have learned to trust me and we have built a wonderful relationship. I love all of my friend dearly and feel blessed to have her in my life.

My friend and hers have taught me so much over the years. I can't even begin to express the gratitude I feel for her and hers. Yes, there have been some great difficulties along the way. But through each difficulty, there is growth for both of us.

I wish for both you and your mum continued love and a wonderful relationship. Again, thank you so much for sharing your experience!


sabby

[Macha]

Originally Posted by sabby

(((((((((((( Macha ))))))))))))

Thank you very much for sharing your experience with your mum. I think your mum was very brave and loved you very much to get the help that she needed to protect you and give you a life filled with love and safety. She also did a phenomenal job at raising you, a kind and loving child with deep understanding and compassion. Of course, kudos to you as well!

I am not DID, but my dearest friend is. I would not trade her or her alters for all the money in the world. Over the years, they have learned to trust me and we have built a wonderful relationship. I love all of my friend dearly and feel blessed to have her in my life.

My friend and hers have taught me so much over the years. I can't even begin to express the gratitude I feel for her and hers. Yes, there have been some great difficulties along the way. But through each difficulty, there is growth for both of us.

I wish for both you and your mum continued love and a wonderful relationship. Again, thank you so much for sharing your experience!


sabby

Thank you so much. I read your post to my mum (hope you don't mind) and she was so moved that she cried, with happiness that is. Thank you for reminding her that she did a very big thing by going to T for me and was very brave in it. I still tell her but I think she is never shore if I am just trying to make her feel better for the hard times. It was lovely to see her take it in.
I am very glad that you have your friend in your life and all of hers. There is something unique about caring about that kind of comunity. And of course I am so very glad that your friend and her alters have someone like you to care about and care about them. It is not easy to find people that want to know all of the personalities in a body and from watching Mum light up when talking about her friends who do I know how important it is.
I am really glad that you liked hearing about me, I really liked hearing about you! Thank you very much for your kind comments, my mood has been lifted by them. You are odviously a very kind and understanding person and I can not wish you well enough.

Macha

[sabby]

((((((((((( Macha & Mum ))))))))))))))

I'm glad you felt you could read my post to your mum. I'm also glad that I could lift you both up. We all need to be understood and appreciated. Thank you for your lovely response, it has warmed my heart.

Know that I'm here for you and am willing to listen if you ever find the need to talk, whether it be the good stuff or the yucky stuff. I have a feeling we have some very similar experiences with some very similar loved ones in our lives.

Take good care and be well!