Raining

I just don't know.
Bad place.
Didn't feel anything earlier.
Now, migraine.
Feel bad. Feel hopeless. Feel *************

((((((((((((((( iamanne )))))))))))))))) safe hugs if ok

bunny bumpies for you ))))))) )) iamanne((((( ( (( (

(((((((((((((iamanne))))))))))))))))))

safe hugs ((((((((((((((((iamanne))))))))))))))))

Thank you all so much. I don't like being in this spot - this place of sadness and now of nothingness. Anhedonia they call it. Whatever it is, it stinks. I'm in a place of nothing and nowhere. Sorry.

Sending you more hugs>>>>>>>>>>>

((((((((((( iamanne )))))))))))

You are not alone.

((((((((((((((((anne))))))))))))))))))

many good, safe wishes to you right now.

safe hug

((( Anne ))) You are so sweet I pray the sun comes soon and a rainbow

*SHINE*

(((((((((iamanne)))))))))))))

Pegasus Kitty White Bear Sky Rainbowzz Fuzzy

Once again, thank you. Your unconditional support is much appreciated, especially at a time like this.

**********Possible Trigger***************



My friend at work, she received a phone call from home yesterday afternoon. It was her husband. He said he tried to wake up their son but he wouldn't wake up and he was cold. She told him to call 911 and ran out the door. She called us later . . . . . he was dead. Died in his sleep. He was 21. Possible OD from depression . . . . . . . .my heart aches for her, but because of the anhedonia, nothing will come out. I speak words and truly mean them, but the rest is all bottled up inside and out of reach.
I called my T and told him what was going on. He said there are many ways of showing support and just because I can't shed tears right now, doesn't mean I don't care. I still feel really bad that I can't shed a tear for her. I can't imagine the pain she must be going through. She is a wonderful mother and person. Had a really hard life, her husband no longer works because of bad back surgery. She works with us at the surgery center and then works 3-11 at the main operating room.
Sometimes, this world really stinks. And then I have all of you . . . . . . to help carry me through . . . . . . . .

iamanne,

You are a very caring person. Even with all that you are going through, you are thinking of other people. You do have a heart of gold.

As for not being able to cry, I have the same problem too- bottled up inside and out of reach...

Sending you another safe hug>>>>>>>>>>>>>

((((((((((((( iamanne ))))))))))))))

(((((((((((iamanne)))))))))) I'm sorry to hear about your coworkers son. You seem to be a very caring person. I don't think the lack of tears means you don't care.

I don't have a lot of emotions that I am in touch with. In general (when I am in an aware state), I don't cry, I don't scream, I don't stomp my feet, for any reason. When that huge Tsunami came, I did not cry. I felt like the horrible person that I already know to be true. I cared and I was sorry that it happened and that people died and were injured. But I could not cry and it seemed more that it was a fact that happened.

Sending you peaceful wishes for today.

Wanttoheal,

Thank you for the insight. I have always avoided my emotions because they caused more pain and more ridicule from my siblings and bad man father. I am working on this in therapy. Slowly and very difficult and scary but, can't stay where I am.
Thanks again, I have a better understanding of what is going on.

Anne

I know the place you are in, too well. I live there.
w_i

W I

Maybe we can share a bed in this lonely place - then at least we wouldn't be alone -

Anne