Had a hard session with T today, reliving a traumatic event. He was very good, took all the steps to make me feel safe there and thena nd to check taht I was there and then at the end. I wasn't for a while - it was a really odd feeling. I was 18, not the 40 plus I am in reality. After I sort of came back he asked me how convinced I was that I was 40+ rather than 18. I wasn't very convinced to be often> Tonight I am jumping in and out. The visual memories but mostly the emotional ones are really confusing me. I keep trying to remind myself where and when I am and that I am safe, but I'm not doing a very good job of it. I didn't think this would happen. I thought I could deal with it. Over-confident me - I can handle what ever it throws at me, I am grounded. Well, I'm not grounded at all right now and I'm scared. I can't even find the ground, never mind connect with it.

[SongBirdandDaisy]

Caroline

I'm sorry things are tough for you right now. Hang in there . . . . going through the pain will help make it go away . . . . . that's what they say . . . . . it is very difficult though.

Be gentle with yourself,
Songbird

Caroline

Taking that step to work the memory process (otherwise known as the co-consciousness and integration process) takes alot. There are alot of people who are unable to do that for years because it does have a way of shaking things up, But I can tell you from experience that it is well worth it.

Hang in there.

Thank you both.

I don't knwo if I can be here.
Not sure it is good for me.
Not sure I should be here.
Not sure I can cope with being here.
I wish I knew what to do, how to be, how to do what people expect, what they deem to be right and acceptable but I don't seem to be able.
I'm falling apart and I better do it somewhere else.

(((((caroline)))))) we are here for you

[SongBirdandDaisy]

Caroline

I so understand, but you know how I feel.
Be patient with yourself and keep safe,
Songbird