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  #1  
Old Apr 11, 2006, 01:56 PM
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Had a hard session with T today, reliving a traumatic event. He was very good, took all the steps to make me feel safe there and thena nd to check taht I was there and then at the end. I wasn't for a while - it was a really odd feeling. I was 18, not the 40 plus I am in reality. After I sort of came back he asked me how convinced I was that I was 40+ rather than 18. I wasn't very convinced to be often> Tonight I am jumping in and out. The visual memories but mostly the emotional ones are really confusing me. I keep trying to remind myself where and when I am and that I am safe, but I'm not doing a very good job of it. I didn't think this would happen. I thought I could deal with it. Over-confident me - I can handle what ever it throws at me, I am grounded. Well, I'm not grounded at all right now and I'm scared. I can't even find the ground, never mind connect with it.

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  #2  
Old Apr 11, 2006, 02:11 PM
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SongBirdandDaisy SongBirdandDaisy is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2006
Location: Pennsylvania
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Here and not here Here and not here Here and not here Caroline Here and not here Here and not here Here and not here

I'm sorry things are tough for you right now. Hang in there . . . . going through the pain will help make it go away . . . . . that's what they say . . . . . it is very difficult though.

Be gentle with yourself,
Songbird
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Here and not here "It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end.
  #3  
Old Apr 11, 2006, 02:27 PM
Anonymous29319
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Caroline Here and not here

Taking that step to work the memory process (otherwise known as the co-consciousness and integration process) takes alot. There are alot of people who are unable to do that for years because it does have a way of shaking things up, But I can tell you from experience that it is well worth it.

Hang in there.
  #4  
Old Apr 11, 2006, 04:16 PM
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Thank you both.

I don't knwo if I can be here.
Not sure it is good for me.
Not sure I should be here.
Not sure I can cope with being here.
I wish I knew what to do, how to be, how to do what people expect, what they deem to be right and acceptable but I don't seem to be able.
I'm falling apart and I better do it somewhere else.
  #5  
Old Apr 11, 2006, 10:49 PM
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(((((caroline)))))) we are here for you
  #6  
Old Apr 12, 2006, 05:38 AM
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SongBirdandDaisy SongBirdandDaisy is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jan 2006
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,810
Here and not here Here and not here Here and not here Caroline Here and not here Here and not here Here and not here Here and not here Here and not here

I so understand, but you know how I feel.
Be patient with yourself and keep safe,
Songbird
__________________
Here and not here "It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end.
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