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PurpleFlyingMonkeys
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Default Jun 22, 2012 at 12:40 PM
  #1
Im going to bring this up with t but i was just curious. Im not asking if itd a DID thing or anything, just if its in relation to dissociation in general.

I am at work, extremely angry with my co workers to the point of tears. Then my head starts getting all fuzzy feeling. And i start to notice that answering the phones and talking to guests, my voice and theirs seems dampened i guess you could say. I think i was talking clearly and all but to me it sounded at a distance. I wont say i wasnt the one talking because i think i was as i remember slightly the conversation, and was working just like i would had i not been angry, but i was kind of robotic i guess. Not really controlling what i was saying, just going through the motions i guess. I really dont know how else to explain it, its such a strange feeling i can never fully accurately describe it.

My voice was perky, i answered the questions correctly, but i wasnt fully aware or thinking wise, i wasnt there, more of just listening from a distance. Im just wondering if this sort of thing should be brought up with t or if its normal? Sessions are only an hour long and we havent even been able to scrape the surface of my troubles, i dont want to waste time on something thats normal.

Thanks for any input. He already knows and believes the DID diagnosis, but i just dont know whats what any more...
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Default Jun 22, 2012 at 01:11 PM
  #2
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Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys View Post
Im going to bring this up with t but i was just curious. Im not asking if itd a DID thing or anything, just if its in relation to dissociation in general.

I am at work, extremely angry with my co workers to the point of tears. Then my head starts getting all fuzzy feeling. And i start to notice that answering the phones and talking to guests, my voice and theirs seems dampened i guess you could say. I think i was talking clearly and all but to me it sounded at a distance. I wont say i wasnt the one talking because i think i was as i remember slightly the conversation, and was working just like i would had i not been angry, but i was kind of robotic i guess. Not really controlling what i was saying, just going through the motions i guess. I really dont know how else to explain it, its such a strange feeling i can never fully accurately describe it.

My voice was perky, i answered the questions correctly, but i wasnt fully aware or thinking wise, i wasnt there, more of just listening from a distance. Im just wondering if this sort of thing should be brought up with t or if its normal? Sessions are only an hour long and we havent even been able to scrape the surface of my troubles, i dont want to waste time on something thats normal.

Thanks for any input. He already knows and believes the DID diagnosis, but i just dont know whats what any more...

for some people yes this is what dissociation in general is like for others it isnt. for some its a medical problem and for others its medication, it could be anything including normal for some people.

only your treatment provider can say whether this is a dissociation symptom for you. Im glad you are going to talk with your therapist about this.
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Default Jun 22, 2012 at 02:09 PM
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I do recall this feeling getting more extreme on some medications, to where it was happening all the time. For the past 3 weeks ive been without medication. 2 months ago i had my iud removed and stopped drinking caffeine. Then shortly after i stopped smoking marijuanna and stopped my anxiety meds (that i was only on for about a month) so now im medication free. Its always happened, thats why i wondered if it was normal. But certain medications did make it happen frequently. Unmedicated it happens when im really upset. Angry, afraid. Nervous, sad. When i got the call about my very close grandmother having the strokes, it happened and i stayed like that for about a week. I never dealt with the loss, i guess i just handled it this way. Everyone thought i would lose it, but i just went into the buble and went with the motions. Thank you for your reply amanda, knowing you work in the psych field is of great help to me and this site. I dont black out and lose my full memory this way, so i didnt know if it too was related. I just kind of felt like i wasnt controlling or doing the talking or work. But assumed it had/has to be me since i remember.. i dont know if it was parts or me, but i guess my t can help me sort that... it happens quite a bit when im under stress, perhaps ill start writing when it does in the journal. Another thing... worries me health wise but ive wondered if it was a dissociative thing... a t once told me some could dissociate pain, i often when upset, lose feeling in my body. I can still move and do but i dont feel my body moving, i see it moving but cant feel the movements, often its accompanied with the above mentioned, but not always. I have brought it up with my general practitioner (the feeling, not the head part, he doesnt know about my DID diagnosis and i dont want him to) but he didnt say anything about it, just looked at me like i was crazy or lieing.

Perhaps the pdoc should be the one i tell this too? I dont know. Ive also got to see a neurologist as well. I wish it were easier to figure this out. Got a ct scan on my head that came back normal, few more tests to be done but neuro t and pdoc thinks everything thus far, seizures included are mental and not physical. Gaaah, i need to just get my phd and figure this out myself. Thank you again amanda, youre always very helpful. Knowing you exp erience personally and work closely with those in this field.

One more question, if parts dont have to
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Default Jun 22, 2012 at 02:17 PM
  #4
Have a name, is it possible for them to use the bodies name but sometimes a different version? Or even the same name? I dont know any names yet and am trying to find out their names. But if i come back and they use the same name, but act talk and all unlike me, does that mean its still me? Probably best for t to answer huh? Lol but i was hoping to get others experiences. The only name ive gotten so far is not my name at all, becky is what my brothers call her, apparently the angry one that stands up to them. But who knows if they made up that name
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Default Jun 22, 2012 at 04:17 PM
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Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys View Post
Have a name, is it possible for them to use the bodies name but sometimes a different version? Or even the same name? I dont know any names yet and am trying to find out their names. But if i come back and they use the same name, but act talk and all unlike me, does that mean its still me? Probably best for t to answer huh? Lol but i was hoping to get others experiences. The only name ive gotten so far is not my name at all, becky is what my brothers call her, apparently the angry one that stands up to them. But who knows if they made up that name
yes some dissociatives can shut out their physical pains and some cant. Yes I would suggest talking with your mental health provider about it.

Yes alters can have their own names but not all alters do. yes some alters can answer to the body name, most do but I do know of some rare situations where the alters do not answer to the body names or variations of it. each persons internal system is set up their own way..

is it you is it not you...well that is more a question of personal views..some internal systems and host consider the alters to be parts of the host and others dont.

it also depends upon how each persons individual mental health treatment providers, locations and such call them.. some treatment providers consider a DID persons alters to be parts of the host and other dont..

my suggestion talk with your treatment providers. they will explain what the mental health community and your treatment providers believe/go by on this issue.

here where I live and work and my own treatment providers yes they consider alters to be part of the host.. in other words they believed/went by the therapeutic concept that my alters were part of me and that together we (my alters and I) make up one whole person.

names well some of my alters had names and some didnt and yes some came with their own names and some chose their own names.. my treatment providers and I were of the same mind that for me we didnt need to give those alters that didnt have names, any names. we just accepted them how ever they came to me and accepted that they were there for a reason and had their own jobs to do.

thank you . Im glad to know my posting, and knowing I both work in the field and also receive services as well, has been helpful to you.
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Default Jun 25, 2012 at 10:07 AM
  #6
Dont you just love those confusing conversations with someone, the "whatd you say?" But you insist you said nothing, they insist you just carried a conversation you dont remember having. But it happened just seconds ago. (Bit of sarcasm) i used to think others were making it up. But not my fiance, he has no reason to. I dont like seeing that look of confusion and concern when im insisting i said nothing. It happened a couple times in the 30 minutes i got to see him before he went to work. This is going to be an interesting day.

Thank you again for your response amanda, it helped me a lot. Answered many of my questions and i started a list in my journal for things to talk to t about so i dont forget. Thank you :-)
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