I don't have any memories of home life from before age 11....I remember school, my teachers, friends, recess but I don't remember my room, toys or eating dinner at home...

Does anyone have experience with similar missing memories that they were able to reach and remember? What type of therapy helped?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Readytostop

I don't have any memories of home life from before age 11....I remember school, my teachers, friends, recess but I don't remember my room, toys or eating dinner at home...

Does anyone have experience with similar missing memories that they were able to reach and remember? What type of therapy helped?

the recovering of memories depends more on the person and why those memories are not there any more.

example someone who lost their memory due to a physical brain damage trauma the memories are gone and most likely not come back.

Someone who isnt physically nor mentally ready to handle their lost memories due to mental problem will not gain back their memories regardless of therapy techniques until they are ready to handle what happened to them.

I have recovered some of my memories and there are still holes in my memory. they came to me not as a result of any special type of therapy. Some came back to me because they were repressed memories and I was mentally ready to handle them and was stable enough for them to return to me. Some I gained back through the integration of my alters because they were dissociated from my awareness by way of my dissociating into alternate personalities. they were never gone just being held with in my alters instead of within my consciousness.

Originally Posted by amandalouise

the recovering of memories depends more on the person and why those memories are not there any more.

Someone who isnt physically nor mentally ready to handle their lost memories due to mental problem will not gain back their memories regardless of therapy techniques until they are ready to handle what happened to them.

It is so frustrating!!! I know my home was abusive...but from what my siblings said it was my sister who actually suffered the physical abuse...I know my childhood has had lots of negative affects on my ability to trust people, be vulnerable, etc...but how do you "get over it" if you don't know what "it" is....

sometimes...i get these brief moments of extreme sadness and anxiety usually triggered by holidays, etc that makes me think back ....like a "feelings flashback"...if there is such a thing....

I don't have any current lost time so I know I'm not dissociating now..if that is the correct term...

ughhh.....is it really better to remember? should I just leave it in the past and stop this whole therapy process?

[Korin]

I don’t believe you necessarily need to be the one who suffered the most abuse to end up struggling with the outcome like we are. I’m the oldest of five and a lot of my problem, apart from memory black spots, is the guilt and sadness I feel from not being able to help the others.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Readytostop

It is so frustrating!!! I know my home was abusive...but from what my siblings said it was my sister who actually suffered the physical abuse...I know my childhood has had lots of negative affects on my ability to trust people, be vulnerable, etc...but how do you "get over it" if you don't know what "it" is....

sometimes...i get these brief moments of extreme sadness and anxiety usually triggered by holidays, etc that makes me think back ....like a "feelings flashback"...if there is such a thing....

I don't have any current lost time so I know I'm not dissociating now..if that is the correct term...

ughhh.....is it really better to remember? should I just leave it in the past and stop this whole therapy process?

yes I know sometimes it can be frustrating. Ive been there myself.

is it really better to remember. for some people it is for others it isnt. you are the only one that can say whether it will be better for you to remember or not.

for me its worth it.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Readytostop

how do you "get over it" if you don't know what "it" is....

you learn to accept the fact that everyone mentally disordered or not has holes in their memories. as human beings our brains dont store every ounce of everything we go through. it stores those things that are important to us at the time they happen. everyone has things about their life they dont remember. for some its their childhood, for others its not so severe but everyone has holes in their memories even normal people who have a life that is perfect to them. you learn to accept its normal to not remember things traumatic or not in your life. and that enables you to move on.

Originally Posted by amandalouise

you learn to accept the fact that everyone mentally disordered or not has holes in their memories. as human beings our brains dont store every ounce of everything we go through. it stores those things that are important to us at the time they happen. everyone has things about their life they dont remember. for some its their childhood, for others its not so severe but everyone has holes in their memories even normal people who have a life that is perfect to them. you learn to accept its normal to not remember things traumatic or not in your life. and that enables you to move on.

I won't be able to accept something I don't believe.....thanks for your attempts at support

[AngelsRUs]

I have had memories return recently, I feel they merely returned cause I was ready to handle those few memories. I didn't do any actual therapy with a T. However, I came to a point several years ago on this one issue....one specific abuse...where I had dealt with my feelings on what happened to me no matter who the abuser was. One of my alters let the cat out of the bag so to speak and It was hard to deal with and I did spiral through all my alters and created a new one...uggh...but now I am doing much better.
I had lost some sensation in my body due to abuse and now I can feel those parts of my body again which is great yet weird at same time. I can also eat a few foods I had associated with 2 of my abusers from early childhood...haven't been able to eat those items since I was 4yrs old.
I agree with amandalouise the memories come when you are ready. I don't know if therapy helps..but you need to be ready so you aren't floored when hit with the cosmic bat.
Personally, I prayed for years that God would reveal things to me when I was able to handle it.

Hope I helped a bit...

~AngelsRUs~

Originally Posted by AngelsRUs

I have had memories return recently, I feel they merely returned cause I was ready to handle those few memories. I didn't do any actual therapy with a T. However, I came to a point several years ago on this one issue....one specific abuse...where I had dealt with my feelings on what happened to me no matter who the abuser was.
I agree with amandalouise the memories come when you are ready. I don't know if therapy helps..but you need to be ready so you aren't floored when hit with the cosmic bat.
Personally, I prayed for years that God would reveal things to me when I was able to handle it.

Hope I helped a bit...

~AngelsRUs~

Thanks AngelsRUs! I really appreciate your sharing about prayer. I too pray to God that He would reveal things to me...I must admit though that I'm not as patient as you....I want it now...But know that it will be in God's time if at all...

[AngelsRUs]

Your Welcome! Growing up I didn't have anyone but God to depend on. I was only patient because deep down I didn't want to know honestly. So if I never found out that was A OK. Some of our past memories are just too much for us to handle...as was nearly the case for me.
Thank you Lord for protecting me! I will keep you in my prayes sweetie, His timing is always best cause He knows everything. He knows you intimately and knows each and every detail that your memories will effect if and when they return. He only wants the best for each of us.
I am getting super tired...yea! Needed at least 2 more hours too! Feel free to message me anytime sweetie. Have a great Day! God's Blessings!

[Korin]

amandalouise,

I could be wrong but I believe the brain does store everything. I believe it's the psyche that basically decides what we remember. I believe the psyche is all about survival and may keep certain memories from our conscious mind until we are strong enough to deal with them. And if we wait long enough those memories may just fade into the background of our mind and be eventually stored in a box mark NOT IMPORTANT ANYMORE. What do you think?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Korin

amandalouise,

I could be wrong but I believe the brain does store everything. I believe it's the psyche that basically decides what we remember. I believe the psyche is all about survival and may keep certain memories from our conscious mind until we are strong enough to deal with them. And if we wait long enough those memories may just fade into the background of our mind and be eventually stored in a box mark NOT IMPORTANT ANYMORE. What do you think?

what do I think - I think the human brain is an amazing thing, science doesnt know everything there is about it. we can only speculate and have our own opinions.

my opinion like already stated is that the brain doesnt store every little ounce. the scans show human beings only use a percentage of their brain not the whole things. in order to only use that amount of space there has to be some sort of limit somewhere of what is stored. an example of this in my opinion is how you can put 5 people in the same room and have the same identical thing happen example criminology classes they get someone to burst into a room holding gun running around screaming and acting like a criminal. those 5 students each one remembers something different, not one of the students remembers within seconds after the situation every single thing about the "crime". that tells me that only what is important to the person at that moment is what gets stored, the rest doesnt get registered by the brain.

put two people in the same movie theater watching the same movie scene and ask them directly after the movie ends about it and each one will have a different point of view based on their own perceptions of what they felt was the important stuff in the movie.

again to me that says only a portion of the whole experience got stored based on their own points of reference of whats important to them.

I like your idea but you asked me what my opinion was and thats what it is.

[Korin]

Thank you. I’m not one for debating and sometimes it’s just nice to share opinions without debate.