[fishboi]

hey im a male and i have DID and am having problems with my relationship. its occured many times and has ended some friendships and almost my relationship several times. One half of me is a more sensitive side with depression and love to be with her but the other half which i call Fish, which how i got it is how i got depression, which is the side of me that is more a normal guy who justt wants to hang with friends all day. so yea my problem is that with my partner having depression aswell she gets really bad when i dont see her enough but most the times when i want to be with her is when i cant,i mean i always want to be with her but the side of me that is fish just wants to hang with my friends instead which she doesnt like since they are all girls even though she knows i wont do anything but yea ,im not very good at explaining things but i just want to know what people think and maybe to try and help.

[Gr3tta]

from what you've described, this is a normal issue for a couple to have even when both are mentally healthy. the trick is in finding the balance between spending time with your girlfriend and spending time with your friends.
sometimes it can help to establish a loose schedule, such as, friday night you have a standing date with her, and sunday you always hang with your friends. the rest of the time can be flexible.
it's important to make time for your girlfriend, but she should also understand that you value your friendships as well.

[LouR]

Hi I agree with Gr3tta.
Balance is good in relationships
Have you communicated this with your girlfriend?
A few things that can be a detriment to a relationship is lack of communication and enmeshment.
If you have a T have a chat with them about co dependence and enabling that might help.
Codependence means "YOU are responsible for MY feelings"
Enabling means " I am responsible for YOUR feelings"
Both of these together equates to ENMESHMENT.
I know this because I tend to feel responsible for others feelings rather than my own.

As adults though only ourselves are responsible for our own feelings no one elses.
Regards Lou

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

Lou, your response was an eye oppener for me. Makes me very sad as it looks like its that way with my relationship, hes the enabler. And when im upset or hurt, he feels its HIS reslonsibility to make me feel better and when he cant he feels likea failure. And i do get upset when he makes plans with his (male) friends, even if im working when he goes. I dont mean to and after i feel worthless for feeling that way, but its not intentional, i want him to be happy and enjoy spending time with his friends. I just clearly have issues that need to be addressed with t.

Fishboi, coming from someone similar to your gf, im sorry. I can see how this can be hard. Is she in therapy? Perhaps you can both go to a few therapy sessions together so you can both express yourselves in a safe place with a third party out look?