Does anyone else have difficulty making eye contact in T sessions or when upset? I do; I find it really threatening. It feels like my T can see inside me and see all the bad stuff there.

YES! Absolutely. IT feels like if they see my eyes they will see how everything is my fault or something

Glad it isn't just me. Thanks. That's exactly how I feel. I just sent my T an email saying I can feel I am isolating again and mentioning that i have trouble making eye contact and asking if we can talk about it.

[SongBirdandDaisy]

I have trouble too, but only when it's something I don't want to talk about. Or, when something I have to say is bad, like the bad stuff that happened. I always feel like it was my fault.

I feel guilty and ashamed and just want to melt into the floor.

Songbird

[hillbunnyb]

Can't think and look at the same time. I usually speak to the air on the right side of somebody so they are in my periferal vision but not head on........

[SongBirdandDaisy]

Hi Bunny

[bipolar_bear]

I have a had time making eye contact all the time at my t office. I think I am afraid of seeing disapproval or rejection. I guess I am always too afraid because she is the nicest person I know.

[Gemstone]

I have a hard time making eye contact a lot of the time too.

[Fuzzybear]

good idea, the other person would still probably be able to tell but it's better than looking at the floor I suppose

[LILITH]

I have difficulty with eye contact too! It is like a force that will not let me maintain eye contact. I look at the floor, out the window or into space. It makes me feel bad and wierd all at the sametime....
Lilith

Thank you all. I'd like to reply to all of you but I am very disconnected today. It feels odd. It helps to know I am not alone in this, though I would like to work on it and improve. I know how much difference it makes to me when people look at me when I am talking - in a social situation that is!

[allthegirls6]

Im OK with eye contact until i get really upset then I seem to want to dissappear. I sort of feel exposed and have wondered if my T can see inside me.

atg

Yes, I feel that as well - very exposed. I guess I don't feel that in most social situations, just when I am upset. But I know I am isolating just lately and this feels like it is part of it. Wanting to shut everyone out, you know?

[sorrel]

I don't get it in t, because I lie on the couch so don't have eye contact...unless I feel I need it...

but I get it outside...get very scared in public...don't want to be seen...unless someone really cares...its that eternal conflict...hurts to not be seen and hurts to be seen...

[allthegirls6]

I know how you feel. Shutting people out is the easy part. Its harder to let them in. You know im thinking of you

atg

It's odd, because I find it less threatening to be seen by those who do not know me than by those who do.

But I hear what you are saying.

Thank you atg. Yes, I agree. Much harder to let them in.
Good to see you here, btw.

[allthegirls6]

funny you should say that C. Im the same. I think its becasue people who know us less are also less able to really see us, like they cant read the signals the way our nearest and dearest can.

I was never aware that I didn't make eye contact until my husband's aunt said something to him.

I paid attention and boy was I surprised.

They say it's because the person "has something to hide." How true.

The only problem is they think your hiding a criminal record or something. When in fact, in my case, it's shame.

[allthegirls6]

Oh Petunia, thats not true. You shouldnt have any shame

I know what you mean, Petunia - I feel ashamed too. But I'm trying to believe what my T has told me - taht I have nothing to be ashamed of; I was not responsible for the things others did to me.

Gentle hugs

[SongBirdandDaisy]

" When in fact, in my case, it's shame. "

Oh, my little Petunia, I'm sad for you. I have shame too - lots.

songbird

[hillbunnyb]

9 bunnies are stamping ALL old stinky shame into the huge compost pile of bunny poo hay, which will soon be a dark rich dirt, able to support and nurture a field of beautiful flowers. I am not ashamed of any of us. I think we are specially strong and specially resiliant, and specially caring, and specially special.

[stormgirl]

'hare hare' bunnies

Shame in stinky! ..and much better for making compost....too right!!! What kinda flowers you gonna grow or are you gonna grow magic carrots that when you eat them they makes shame go away??
Storm

[SongBirdandDaisy]

hillbunny

Can you stomp up my stinky shane too?

Making it into compost is an analogy I can really work with! Thank you so much, you wise furry bunny!

Songbird looking for worms in the compost!