[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

I don't know if this is "derealization" or not but I was wondering, could this be a "symptom" of the DID (as I have been diagnosed with)...

Sometimes, like let's say I'm in the car (passenger seat) and my daughter says something to me. I look back to her and it kind of... It's a really strange feeling, like I'm being pulled away from my body, but it's like everything seems so... Strange... So... I don't know if unreal is the correct work, it's just so different. Surreal... Maybe that's the word? It happens frequently. I don't know if it's "derealization" something else or DID or what.

Does derealization go with DID sometimes? Could this even be derealization? It's not like I'm thinking "Nothing seems real" but even before looking up the definition (which ended up being accurate) the word that always seemed to come to mind when it happened was "surreal"

Maybe I'm just bonkers? Maybe I'm reading too much into things? Any ideas? I'll bring it up with t when I see him next, just wanting to get others opinions

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys

I don't know if this is "derealization" or not but I was wondering, could this be a "symptom" of the DID (as I have been diagnosed with)...

Sometimes, like let's say I'm in the car (passenger seat) and my daughter says something to me. I look back to her and it kind of... It's a really strange feeling, like I'm being pulled away from my body, but it's like everything seems so... Strange... So... I don't know if unreal is the correct work, it's just so different. Surreal... Maybe that's the word? It happens frequently. I don't know if it's "derealization" something else or DID or what.

Does derealization go with DID sometimes? Could this even be derealization? It's not like I'm thinking "Nothing seems real" but even before looking up the definition (which ended up being accurate) the word that always seemed to come to mind when it happened was "surreal"

Maybe I'm just bonkers? Maybe I'm reading too much into things? Any ideas? I'll bring it up with t when I see him next, just wanting to get others opinions

PurpleFlyingMonkeys like so many of your problems there is no real answer we can give you. only your treatment providers can tell you whether this is derealization for you or not, only your treatment providers can tell you whether this happening when you are in a car is part of your DID symptoms.

for me no this would not be called derealization. my treatment providers call what happened to you vertigo, motion sickness, psychosis, medication problem, part of my mania symptoms with my bipolar, lack of food, dehydration and many other diagnosis's depending upon other accompanying symptoms.

for me derealization is knowing this computer is real but feeling like its not real, like its a cartoon or fake computer,

for me derealization is looking out my window and theres a fog covering the back yard. I know Im not really looking through fog at my back yard it just feels that way.

for me derealization is feelig like the char I am sitting on isnt real, I know its real it just feels like its not real to me

for me derealization is feeling like my dog isnt real, I know hes real I just feel like he's not real, like he's a dream, or cartoon.

my sense of reality remains intact but my perception contradicts that of my sense of realism.

for me no this wasnt part of my having DID because here where I live and work DID is alternate personalities taking control of the physical body. Since I am the one that is remaining in control when this happens to me then its not part of my having DID.

the only time my treatment providers called it a DID symptom in me was when I felt this way as I was switching into an alternate personality or as I was switching from an alter to my aware self. then it was one of my DID symptoms because alters were taking control.

Again only your treatment providers can say what this problem is in you.

my suggestion contact your treatment providers, they can do a check on your physical health, medications, seizure problems and any other residual problems this could be from and ultimately tell you what its called in you.

[shortandcute]

Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys

I don't know if this is "derealization" or not but I was wondering, could this be a "symptom" of the DID (as I have been diagnosed with)...

Sometimes, like let's say I'm in the car (passenger seat) and my daughter says something to me. I look back to her and it kind of... It's a really strange feeling, like I'm being pulled away from my body, but it's like everything seems so... Strange... So... I don't know if unreal is the correct work, it's just so different. Surreal... Maybe that's the word? It happens frequently. I don't know if it's "derealization" something else or DID or what.

Does derealization go with DID sometimes? Could this even be derealization? It's not like I'm thinking "Nothing seems real" but even before looking up the definition (which ended up being accurate) the word that always seemed to come to mind when it happened was "surreal"

Maybe I'm just bonkers? Maybe I'm reading too much into things? Any ideas? I'll bring it up with t when I see him next, just wanting to get others opinions

I don't know a whole lot about that kind of stuff, but I think it could be a part of that-from what I understand.

[DancingAlone]

to purpleflyingmonkey,

i've come to realize that any mental condition can cause the mind to have an incredible variety of reactions to the world around us.

when i do what you describe, it's like i live in a coccoon and any even slight stimulation around me such as somebody saying something, or i see other people in a store when i shop, my awareness is sharply brought into focus and i leave the coccoon temporarily to "check it out".

it's like i become incredibly hypervigilant, and have to think real fast because it's all perceived as a threat (even tho logically i know otherwise), thus feeling "out of body", to analyze any and all situations for danger.

but it feels strange, and i move towards a stark awareness of the other person(s) being there. sadly, i can't control it. i just have to try and calm down and using grounding techniques i've learned here to come back into awareness of myself, if i can. and my main goal is always to get back to the safety of the coccoon.

i have my own theory about it - please, to any readers - this is my opinion only, and not based on clinical information.

over time, since my abuse finally ended, i've walled off awareness of my body. (this is hard to write, please forgive me). it's simply a vessel i live in. i clean it, i dress it, and eat right to nourish it, but it's completely separated from "me" (whoever "i" am now).

so, when something catches my attention, like you said your daughter said something to you in the car, this brain does this really fast reality check to see if it's safe to allow myself to be present. i have to almost surround the person or situation with walls of protection to keep myself safe - and it feels like i'm leaving the body to do that.

i know this sounds like a sci-fi story. but this particular reaction to my environment has become the norm. please don't think this is astral projection, but that's real close to describing it.

sorry this is so long. but i was really surprised that somebody else does this, if i understand you that is. it's my own interpretation but it feels familiar.

all i know for sure is that DID is something i plan to have for the rest of my life (i'm 65 now, and won't be doing more than maintenance therapy now). i cannot and will not live without the protection within that keeps this body safe.

so, anything strange or weird, i simply see it as this brain trying to keep me/us safe.

i wish you well.

DA xxx

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

Thank you all, Amanda, you're probably right on about a lot. I'm not on medication though, my pdoc gave me a scrip for Zoloft to control my anxiety but I didn't try it. I read online to use caution when you've had seizures, and as I've mentioned hundreds of times on pc, I've had them this past year so I'm not taking any chances. I told my t about this today, so he's going to try and get me in with my pdoc again soon to try something else.

I've been unmedicated without so much as tylenol for a good few months, and haven't smoked marijuanna in nearly three months, I'm considering vitamins but that's all I would feel comfortable taking in my body. I'll bring this up with t though, and I mean to every time I go in, but there's always so much going on a lot of things get pushed to the back and I forget.

Dancing, that is very similar to how I feel. Although I never really saw it as checking for safety, but everything you described really nailed it for me. It's like I'm in my own world, even when I'm not thinking or doing anything (and this does happen in the car, out the car, at work, at home all kinds of things) and when someone says something to me it snaps me out of my world and I do feel a bit uneasy, nervous, I just assumed the surreal feeling caused this nervousness. But it's also like I'm kind of confused and trying to figure them out, even though I know what they are saying and I understand what they are saying, it takes me a minute to figure out who/what/why I'm with.

Like when I'm sitting on the couch and my fiance walks into the room, ESPECIALLY if he calls me by my name, which is odd to me, when he says something to me I feel like I'm snapping out of my comfort zone and I feel slightly uneasy and yes very hypervigillant. Everything is intense, but it all just doesn't seem to register too much with me at first. It's like I'm trying to figure them out. It's very odd to me.

I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling this way, although I am sorry you are. It's just nice to not feel like you're a lunatic because no one else knows how you're feeling.

Thank you all

[DancingAlone]

Like when I'm sitting on the couch and my fiance walks into the room, ESPECIALLY if he calls me by my name, which is odd to me, when he says something to me I feel like I'm snapping out of my comfort zone and I feel slightly uneasy and yes very hypervigillant. Everything is intense, but it all just doesn't seem to register too much with me at first. It's like I'm trying to figure them out. It's very odd to me.

YES! this is exactly what i was trying to say, purpleflyingmonkeys.

i also feel totally "away" from my own identity when in any social situation - like somebody's shoving me out of the way to take control. it's so frustrating and tires me out. i feel odd when people use my name too! i even changed it to my middle name, and don't sign emails anymore.

i'm sorry you have trouble with medications because of seizures. i've been on just about all of them (for bipolar, anxiety, PTSD and depression). there are some horrible side effects out there. even if you try one or two, it's critical to have a doctor who understands ALL your particular needs and will watch after you.

the main one i have to have at all costs is something for anxiety. the panic attacks are so scary, and my regular doctor understands my need for them. been on it since 1969 (valium). it's the difference between going thru the roof out of fear etc. and staying as calm as i can and try to deal with life and co-exist with all the "others" inside.

it's so hard to describe that feeling you and i have. i'm sure others have it too in some form, otherwise there wouldn't be support chats here on "grounding". i have an outline of one held by a moderator a while back if you'd like me to PM it to you. i really wish you well.

DA

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

Yes, please email it to me. It's really nice knowing someone feels the same, it makes me feel like my feelings and experiences are being validated because I'm not the only one feeling this way you know?

Valium has throughout my life been the number one medication to help my anxiety. I've been given it so many times. Ativan helps also but valium works much better. And each time I get the medicine I end up having some left over that have to be thrown away, they become expired.

But because mom and dad have drug and alcohol problems, the pdocs don't feel comfortable giving me "narcotics" some can see me and who I am, heck I wont take tylenol unless I'm in excruciating pain, and I don't take valium unless I'm having an attack I can't stop. Some docs see this, others think I'm going to be like mom and dad. So even after I leave home and stay away from them they effect my life. Yippee! But I understand why thne pdocs are concerned so now I'm looking into valerian root, and possibly the tea. Apparently it's great for anxiety and it's just a vitamin with similar effects as valium, I'm probably going to try and pick up some tea on my way home after work tonight.

Thank you so much for your responses, I can't explain how much better they have made me feel!