[tigersassy]

Any of you in committed relationships have rules about who the partner can or can't sleep with? I've thought about it and I'm not sure what to do.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by tigersassy

Any of you in committed relationships have rules about who the partner can or can't sleep with? I've thought about it and I'm not sure what to do.

here where I live and work the word "committed" used with the word "relationship" means you and the partner are together with each other and no one else.

here where I live and work the word "open relationship" means you or your partner can date/ have sex with / what ever with other people.

My wife and I were in a "committed relationship" meaning we are bound to each other and only each other, for many yrs. we lived together in a committed relationship until last yr when our state (New York) passed the gay marriage law, at which time my partner and I married. we are now not only in a "committed relationship" we are married to each other and only each other in sickness and health for richer or poorer, unto only each other 'til death do us part.

my wife is a fantastic woman who before we were married accepted all of me not just the aware part of me but every one of my alters too. We both knew we had found our "life partner" about 6 months into the relationship so we moved from our "open relationship" of dating on and off to a "committed relationship"

when you find that one that you are "committed" to you wont even think about having an "open relationship" of dating and having sex with others, because everything you could possibly want and need is right there already at your side, already in your bed, already an extension of yourself type feeling.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by tigersassy

Any of you in committed relationships have rules about who the partner can or can't sleep with? I've thought about it and I'm not sure what to do.

Since it is a dissociation forum, let me ask you this question: do you mean to ask about partners' sleeping with other people (third parties) or are you talking about your partner sleeping with particular parts/child parts/alters/dissociated parts/whatever you call it of YOU?

[tigersassy]

Different parts / alters of consenting age though.

[hamster-bamster]

Well, it is good you have them; some other people mainly have children for parts.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by tigersassy

Different parts / alters of consenting age though.

Ok so you are asking something like whether my wife and I had any rules about sex with my alters.. no when I was integrated we did not set any rules like she could or could not have sex with my alters because she was involved with me the host.

no we did not have any such rules or boundaries. those that didnt want to have sex just didnt take control of the body during my wifes and my intimate moments.

my internal system of alters was one where everyone had their own way of being, their own thoughts, their own jobs with in the system and sometimes out in the real world too, and they had their own reason for being.

if their job, purpose, reason for being was not to take care of my intimate moments then they just did not take over control during those times.

I know some people who do make rules about all kinds of issues and are able to control who comes out when, where and why but that wasnt the way my internal system was.

I once asked my wife what she thought of my alters popping out to have sex with her.. she said "I love you, they are part of you, they came from you and they were all you the day you're mother gave birth to you. they are just extensions of you just like a normal person can like not just one form of sex. to me when Im having sex with those that want to, Im having sex with you because they are you and you are they."

now that I am one whole person again everything the alters were is once again part of me including the intimate moments. for my wife and I, it just added spice to our intimate moments and made us closer then ever.