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  #1  
Old Nov 13, 2012, 11:23 AM
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Roseheart101 Roseheart101 is offline
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Posts: 83
Hi Everyone & Everyone's Alters,

I would like to get your input on how I should describe my style. I am writing a paper with the assigned topic of leadership style exploration. I need to identify my personal style, my personal preferences, and some of my values.

This is so difficult because on some level, almost everything fits. I feel like I am creating a false self to present in this classwork situation. It is like I am making myself up to fit a certain standard. Although it isn't so difficult to make up something, that is not really the purpose here.

This is not something I can or should avoid. Does anyone have any thoughts about this, or any experience about this?

How do we pin ourselves down to one way of being to present ourselves in a socially acceptable, cohesive way?

If you have a moment, please take a minute to think about this and share your thoughts.

Thank you,

Roseheart101, etc.

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  #2  
Old Nov 13, 2012, 12:51 PM
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amandalouise amandalouise is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: 8CS / NYS / USA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roseheart101 View Post
Hi Everyone & Everyone's Alters,

I would like to get your input on how I should describe my style. I am writing a paper with the assigned topic of leadership style exploration. I need to identify my personal style, my personal preferences, and some of my values.

This is so difficult because on some level, almost everything fits. I feel like I am creating a false self to present in this classwork situation. It is like I am making myself up to fit a certain standard. Although it isn't so difficult to make up something, that is not really the purpose here.

This is not something I can or should avoid. Does anyone have any thoughts about this, or any experience about this?

How do we pin ourselves down to one way of being to present ourselves in a socially acceptable, cohesive way?

If you have a moment, please take a minute to think about this and share your thoughts.

Thank you,

Roseheart101, etc.
first may I say congratulations on going back to school. I read your past posts to get an idea of which member you were (names just dont stick in this head of mine) and I saw you had posted that you are 61 yrs old. that is so cool that you are in a class where you need to do a psych paper like this.

now the assignment... yes thats the dangers of trying to diagnose yourself... you end up seeing yourself in just about everything and not know what to weed out and leave in, and where you fit in. especially when you have such in your words from past posts "distinct" parts of you that take over and "shake" up things when you are trying to figure things out about your self.

it really doesnt matter how we here on psych central would describe you and your personality (ies). in fact each of us would probably describe you differently depending upon which part of you we have encountered and which one of your posts we are reading.

my suggestion ...talk with your treatment providers. They are the ones that know you the aware self and you the other parts of you, they can help you stay grounded in whats real and whats imagining yourself in all these different diagnostics for types of personalities, or which part of you is any number of types of personalities, based on what you are reading and using as references for this paper. they can show you how to include all parts of you while at the same time staying focused on the main fully focused and aware self..which is probably what this paper is looking for since not everyone in the class is dissociative disordered.

as for how to present oneself as one way in public socially acceptable ways... that comes from things like what culture you live in, what your parents taught you about manners and whats acceptable to do when and where, who you are with, where you are and all that kinds of stuff..

example in one of your posts you talked about bordering on seducing your therapist.. you knew what things were acceptable and what things were not and you did things like wrote him therapy based letters, not love letters, you gave him things that were within the scope of your therapy sessions and about you not the treatment provider....bottom line you knew he was your therapist so everything had to be therapy related you didnt for example go to a movie with him, have sex with him, make out with him because you knew those things were not acceptable.

thats how things are with socially acceptable behavior... the person looks at the situation/event/ takes in who they are with and what is acceptable in that situation and then acts accordingly.

when I am with my mother I am my mothers daughter, the situation/ event requires me to have respect for my mother, mind my manners, no swearing, no smoking, .

when I am with my wife I am a wife/friend and equal I have respect and love for my wife and my behavior adjusts to what ever we are doing and where we are..if we are in church we sing, we pray, we have thoughts and conversations about god, we dont tell our private boldest X rated talk we would be using in our intimate moments. in our private intimate moments we talk about our intimacy, love for each other,...

suggestion read your past posts, you will find many examples where you know what is acceptable behavior for your self and other members you have replied to.
Thanks for this!
shortandcute
  #3  
Old Nov 13, 2012, 01:38 PM
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Big Mama Big Mama is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: Virginia
Posts: 2,191
tell us a little about you so we can help. What do you like to do in your spare time. Do you like to get out and live it up or do you like to stay around the house. Give a little background info please.
  #4  
Old Nov 14, 2012, 02:13 AM
Anonymous47147
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I have the same problem.everything fits because between 25 alters, we all have just about every personality trait, like/dislike, opinion there is
Have you tried any online quizzes or tests perhaps?i mean even just the silly ones on facebook or something? Even those might give you a simple starting place.
Thanks for this!
shortandcute
  #5  
Old Nov 16, 2012, 12:38 AM
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Roseheart101 Roseheart101 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2012
Posts: 83
Good advince. Thank you Amanda Louise and Big Mamma and Starry Night.

I will take to my T about it. I took the online personality test here on Pysch Central to report for my class. I didn't like the results, but oh well, I think they were accurate. The fact is that I am generally quite reclusive, hehe, except when I am not. I am pretty emotionally insecure, except when I am not. I am very agreeable, except when I am not. LoL, so the bottom line is a dotted line.

As Amanda Louise said, I pretty much know what to do in each situation and at least can pretty well act the part. I often fill like I have a liquid personality and just try to fit into whatever situation I fit in. Very few people know about my DID and see me the way I portray myself. I very rarely let anyone get close enough to notice anything else.

Anyway, I put in the paper that I was insecure (true), that I am introverted (true), that I am very agreeable (I have to be so no one will notice my problem), that I am reasonably consciencious (that is true), and that I am very creative. All true. I also put down how I would be planning to work with the difficult parts of myself.

Ya, Amanda Louise, I am now 62, but it is always a surprise to me. I expect it is to most people though when they reach this stage. Thanks so much for the compliment.
  #6  
Old Nov 16, 2012, 12:47 AM
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Roseheart101 Roseheart101 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2012
Posts: 83
Quote:
Originally Posted by Starry_Night View Post
I have the same problem.everything fits because between 25 alters, we all have just about every personality trait, like/dislike, opinion there is
Have you tried any online quizzes or tests perhaps?i mean even just the silly ones on facebook or something? Even those might give you a simple starting place.
Hi Starry Night,
Thanks for your advice. That quiz at least gave me a place to start. Have you ever taken one of those Right Brain/Left Brain dominant quizzes? And then you found out you are dominant on both sides?
  #7  
Old Nov 16, 2012, 12:51 AM
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Roseheart101 Roseheart101 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2012
Posts: 83
Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Mama View Post
tell us a little about you so we can help. What do you like to do in your spare time. Do you like to get out and live it up or do you like to stay around the house. Give a little background info please.
Hi Big Mamma,

Thanks for your reply. I am generally in my house or at work. I am pretty depressed most of the time. But I keep trying to do things, like going to online school. I would like to spend more time being an artist, but though it is my favorite thing it always has the last priority.

I like to play video games or knit also. That is just about it now because of the time for school. But then again, that was just about it before school too. That makes me a little sad. *sigh*

Thanks again,

Roseheart
  #8  
Old Nov 16, 2012, 01:13 AM
Anonymous47147
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roseheart101 View Post
Hi Starry Night,
Thanks for your advice. That quiz at least gave me a place to start. Have you ever taken one of those Right Brain/Left Brain dominant quizzes? And then you found out you are dominant on both sides?
Yep!
Also if i take any of the personaity quizzes, depending on which one of us takes it, the profile completely changes. we can make one quiz come out 25 different ways.
Hugs from:
shortandcute
Thanks for this!
shortandcute
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