[Jennifer1084]

I am so tired of getting hurt by one of my parts. My therapist has tried to talk to them and I guess it did not work. It's even happened around people. I dont know what to do. I've tried reasoning with that part and make an agreement. Do any of you have any suggestions to help me out?

Locate the trigger. Take care of the trigger and you will no longer be replaying and acting out that piece of memory.

Every time I tell something I have been programed not to tell I experience voices that tell me to shut up and so on and its accompanied by a very strong urge to hurt myself in some way.

At first I thought it was just because I was in therapy. But then when I started paying attention to the times when I would get hurt while not being aware I realized it happened only when I told SKR very detailed things.

Once SKR and I realized that my telling details was the trigger for those voices and urges we took things slower and built up my ability to go against those voices and urges.

[Jennifer1084]

Thank you for your response.

I hear voices often, not always telling me he's going to hurt me. My therapist seems to want me to talk to the voices and communicate with them as much as possible. It is my way of doing things, just to ignore it and go on. But I've found I can't do this. Is this normal? Well thanks again for the response.

[Evangelista]

My Alters talk to me too..it gets much worse when there is conflict which my system is reacting to. There are days like to today, where the constant communication makes me feel like I am going crazy.

I have an abusive alter too, he is the hardest one to work with during therapy because he has taken on aspects of the childhood abuser, I have been told they do this sometime in order to survive, and this is not uncommon, just really difficult. You are in our thoughts...be gentle with yourself..

Yes this is normal. I used to ingore the voices (sound memory pieces) too because it scared me. I wanted no part of it until SKR explained to me that communicating with alters is not like communicating with a friend, neighbor and so on. Im not possessed by people living inside my body. I may not like what I learn about myself and what happened to me but if the situation really was out of my understanding and ability and coping skills I won't know about that situation by doing communication activities. DID is a protection. my brain separated those memories outside my awreness when they happened because I was not old enough and or didn't have the coping skills to know and handle those memories. Nothing is going to come out that I still cant handle or don't have the coping skills for.

Then she told me that part of locating the trigger is listneing and finding out more of what that piece of memory contains. Doing this is called "Communicating" with memory pieces (alters)

one "communication" activity is called free writing. free writing is just writing down what you are hearing and seeing. when the voices start going sit down and just write. don't try to correct spelling and grammar and so on. write down as fast as you can what you are hearing and seeing.

Another type of therapy communication is writing to that memory piece - write a question down on paper. Leave it somewhere obvious - on a stand, on a table, Anywhere you have found new things or changes around the house.

Sometimes you will get an answering note "back" Sometimes you won't.

If you do then you know that, that memory piece contains words that were used in that note you get back.

If nothing happens try rewording the question. Since alters are pieces of memories the only way you will get your questions answered is if that memory piece contains information already about how to read and write and the question matches in some way to the content of that memory piece.

"Communicating with alters is kind of like a spin off of the therapeutic activity called word association and also how a normal person who has for example misplaced their keys and walks around asking theirself questions to retrace their steps around the house to locate the missing keys.

Basically by communicating you are asking yourself questions and retracing your steps to learn what happened to you so that you can find out what things trigger you to act out memories unconsciously.

Once you have enough information about that piece of memory a plan can be put in place so that you don't get triggered into acting out memories.

Now that I know all that its not so scarey for me. First thing I do when I wake up is lay there listening to hear what memorys are replaying and look around my room and match those voices to what I am seeing and hearing in my present life. Through out the day its now automatic for me to stop what I am doing for a few minutes just to jot down what I am hearing and look around and match what I hear to what is going on in my present life.

By doing this I am not only learning about what happened to me (what those memorys contain) but I am also learning what I need to do to take care of myself. If for example I start hearing voices that contain food items I look at a clock and go find something to eat. If I hear a voice that is about being cold I go get a sweater or wrap up in a comforter or take a warm - hot bath.

I now find " communicating" to be so intersting. Its amazing how many foods I liked as a child and how I escaped some abusive situaions and so on.

The more you talk to yourself and ask questions and listen and look for the answers the more you will be able to function better and have a better calmer life.

Its scarey at times but it can be so much fun too. I found so many different and creative ways to learn about myself - play with playdough, go to parks and playgrounds, blowing bubbles, making collages, Diaramas., cooking, you name it. Anything that you like to do can be used to learn what is contained in those separated pieces of memories.

how about giving it a try for say a week. then at least you can tell your therapist you gave it a try and let her know the outcome and if you want to continue doing it or find a new approach to learning about yourself.

Hang in there

[Rhapsody]

You cannot ignore them, for they will never go away or be integrated if they are not heard and validated. They need to know that they can speak and some one will listen to them and that they are finally safe from harm.... YOU can give this to them.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -