[guesswhat?]

I just discovered my alters a few months ago, and its overwhelming me. At least I think its been a few months, I don't remember. I don't remember ANYTHING! It's just like even the smallest let down, or problem is a huge blow to me, and I just can't hold up against all of the pressure anymore. Everything's so fast and I can't catch up. I can barely breath. I don't know how long i can do this before i just give up trying to gasp for air against this ocean of overwhelmingness. And everyone thinks I'm normal. No one knows whats going on. No one would believe me. What do I do???

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by guesswhat?

I just discovered my alters a few months ago, and its overwhelming me. At least I think its been a few months, I don't remember. I don't remember ANYTHING! It's just like even the smallest let down, or problem is a huge blow to me, and I just can't hold up against all of the pressure anymore. Everything's so fast and I can't catch up. I can barely breath. I don't know how long i can do this before i just give up trying to gasp for air against this ocean of overwhelmingness. And everyone thinks I'm normal. No one knows whats going on. No one would believe me. What do I do???

I found out that I have alters a little less than two years ago. I had always thought that everyone had the cross talk in their head like I did. Or the distinct change in personality to deal with a particular situation like I did. Up until two years ago I was able to deal with it. But out of no where I begun having panic attacks, a near suicide attempt, tremendous amounts of fear, crying, and getting very very angry for no apparent reason. My system of alters was overwhelming the controls I had developed over time. They wanted me to acknowledge them. Only I didn't know I had alters I just thought I was going insane. I decided I didn't want to die but couldn't promise myself that I wouldn't commit suicide. So I started going to therapy. When I realized I had alters I freaked out. I was totally overwhelmed and felt like a freak. The more I learned that my alters were created by me to protect and help me when I was being abused the more I was able to embrace them. It took a while for my mind to settle down from racing thoughts, panic attacks and wanting to hide all the time. I don't like to admit it but anxiety medication helped with the panic and fear, Zoloft helped with the compulsive thoughts and sort of allowed my alters to slow down with their talking. I am still figuring out my system and who and why my alters were created. The feeling you describe of being overwhelmed and perhaps also afraid are normal for us with DID. You just have to take your time, take the meds if prescribed, and go to therapy. I hated therapy in the beginning and would go and say nothing. But after a while I realized I needed to talk to someone about what I was experiencing. My therapist allowed me to take the time to feel comfortable in session. You will be fine and the scary feelings you have now will settle down the more you understand your system. We with DID are strong, we created alters to save ourselves, and we continue to protect and save ourselves through therapy. You will be fine. And if you need support or have questions this is the place. Be well.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by guesswhat?

I just discovered my alters a few months ago, and its overwhelming me. At least I think its been a few months, I don't remember. I don't remember ANYTHING! It's just like even the smallest let down, or problem is a huge blow to me, and I just can't hold up against all of the pressure anymore. Everything's so fast and I can't catch up. I can barely breath. I don't know how long i can do this before i just give up trying to gasp for air against this ocean of overwhelmingness. And everyone thinks I'm normal. No one knows whats going on. No one would believe me. What do I do???

what do you do? you go on living just like you have been doing before you were diagnosed, with one change...now you know the name of what all those symptoms you have been having all your life is called, and a bonus is you no longer have to work through those problems all on your own. now you can get the treatment you need so that some day you will no longer have all the symptoms that you have had all your life that is now called DID, and dissociative issues.

when I was first diagnosed with DID I was a bit overwhelmed with it all too, until my therapist and psychiatrist explained to me that receiving the diagnosis doesnt change anything other than places a name on what has already been happening since I was a very young child, when the very first alter came into being. example if I hadnt already had alters then I would not have had the type of memory problems that got me diagnosed with DID, If I hadnt already been switching into alters my therapist would not have been able to witness and talk to at least two or more alternate personalities that led to my receiving the DID diagnosis...basically all that has changed is we now know what has been going on since before I was 5 yrs old. all the diagnosis label does is tells my therapist, psychiatrist and I what my past problems have been and then after receiving the diagnosis we could fix all those problems. The best advice they gave me was to not focus on the diagnostic name, focus instead on fixing the dissociative issues I have just like I was trying to do before I got diagnosed.

now I pass along the same suggestion... dont pay no mind to the diagnostic name and worrying about having alters. you have had them since you were a very young child and they got you this far and they will continue to help get you through things until you are ready to stand on your own two feet and take care of yourself.

what really matters is taking care of your problems, the diagnosis is just a name, and the alters you are fearing right now have always been with you and you didnt fear them before so theres no reason to fear them now. they are there to help you survive by doing what ever jobs, purposes, reasons they were created for when you were a very young child.