I feel safe inside my apartment. With the blinds closed. And no noise. Under a quilt my great grandmother made. On my sofa, because my bed gives me flashbacks. With my dog laying beside me on her dog bed, my arm slung over her, holding her, stroking her soft ear to keep me present, If not for my dog, I would probably be in a closet. I am breathing deeply and crying slightly. I feel safe there. And only there. I don't want to leave that spot for the next few days except to take my dog out to potty, feed her, and to go to the restroom. I don't want to shower, because that gives me flashbacks, eat myself or feel my own pulse. I don't want to know that I am alive. For all intents and purposes I am not.

[Claritytoo]

I have similar episodes and sometimes it is ok to stay in but if you think this will last a long time you might want to try something to ground yourself. I have used ice if I think the episode feels like it has no end. I have gone without eating and bathing but I always feel better once I take a shower or eat something I like. I hope you have ways of grounding yourself. I hope you feel better. The holidays for a lot of us can be triggering. Take care.

[iamach]

you might find some good resources at joycemeyer.org. self esteem building materials and encouragement. have you ever considered prayer 1 800 759 0700. challenge those negative thoughts. who told you you don't count or have no worth or value. so something good for yourself today.

[beadlady29]

hi lydia.....showerign adn leavign teh huose, etc. also trigers us.....we too feel sqfe at heom wiht uor service dogn undernth blaknet.......adn offen dotn leve teh huose far days.....utnil soemne make us....u r not aleon......we r wakliign teh paht wiht u if u wuod leik.........mary sue adn all of us beadies