[DreamDetective]

Both our therapist and psychiatrist have mentioned DID to us regarding our daughter, who is 8. Our psych said to not worry about it right now and see how she does on medication for anxiety. Our therapist said that she's too young to diagnose and too soon, but our daughter is 'heading that way' (not exactly sure what she meant).

There are a few people my daughter sees in her head at times. One is very unkind towards her, scaring her, threatening her and so on. My daughter says that he keeps the memories. The therapist feels that we should try to kill the mean person in her head so he will go away. My daughter objected saying that we should try to make him good by filling him with love and maybe he would leave on his own. She said that he's part of her and she's scared of trying to hurt him as she's worried it will hurt her.

I do not know what is going on with our daughter, but I was wondering if there were any resources (books or online sites) that might have a section for parents of children with DID?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by DreamDetective

Both our therapist and psychiatrist have mentioned DID to us regarding our daughter, who is 8. Our psych said to not worry about it right now and see how she does on medication for anxiety. Our therapist said that she's too young to diagnose and too soon, but our daughter is 'heading that way' (not exactly sure what she meant).

There are a few people my daughter sees in her head at times. One is very unkind towards her, scaring her, threatening her and so on. My daughter says that he keeps the memories. The therapist feels that we should try to kill the mean person in her head so he will go away. My daughter objected saying that we should try to make him good by filling him with love and maybe he would leave on his own. She said that he's part of her and she's scared of trying to hurt him as she's worried it will hurt her.

I do not know what is going on with our daughter, but I was wondering if there were any resources (books or online sites) that might have a section for parents of children with DID?

if you are looking for how to help your daughter then the best resource is to follow her treatment providers advice..he is the one treating her for DID so he knows best how you can help her.

psych central has many threads going about books and websites about many different mental disorders. they are in threads at the top of each mental disorder forum, if that forum has one....example at the top of the threads here in dissociative disorders you will find this thread...

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=71992

that thread has many resources listed that the members here on psych central have found helpful.

I also use amazon.com

[its_just_me]

Originally Posted by DreamDetective

Both our therapist and psychiatrist have mentioned DID to us regarding our daughter, who is 8. Our psych said to not worry about it right now and see how she does on medication for anxiety. Our therapist said that she's too young to diagnose and too soon, but our daughter is 'heading that way' (not exactly sure what she meant).

There are a few people my daughter sees in her head at times. One is very unkind towards her, scaring her, threatening her and so on. My daughter says that he keeps the memories. The therapist feels that we should try to kill the mean person in her head so he will go away. My daughter objected saying that we should try to make him good by filling him with love and maybe he would leave on his own. She said that he's part of her and she's scared of trying to hurt him as she's worried it will hurt her.

I do not know what is going on with our daughter, but I was wondering if there were any resources (books or online sites) that might have a section for parents of children with DID?

In my opinion (not saying by any means the therapist is wrong):
My partner has DID and we both firmly believe in love, and the power of love (why would we revictimize an alter who has probably experienced some not so nice things)?
Your daughter may know exactally what he needs.
My partner knew a few of her alters from a very young age and only found out as she got a bit older that not everyone has other people inside.
Good luck to you and your daughter!!!

[monarch_butterfly]

I have known several people with DID and I have some type of dissociative disorder that includes an alter who is a 4 yr old girl and i do think i switch. Off the top of my head killing your daughters mean one seems like it would be counterproductive. Maybe you can go to that resource section Amanda mentioned and it will help. Keep in mind i am not a doctor just a perpetual patient.

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by DreamDetective

Both our therapist and psychiatrist have mentioned DID to us regarding our daughter, who is 8. Our psych said to not worry about it right now and see how she does on medication for anxiety. Our therapist said that she's too young to diagnose and too soon, but our daughter is 'heading that way' (not exactly sure what she meant).

There are a few people my daughter sees in her head at times. One is very unkind towards her, scaring her, threatening her and so on. My daughter says that he keeps the memories. The therapist feels that we should try to kill the mean person in her head so he will go away. My daughter objected saying that we should try to make him good by filling him with love and maybe he would leave on his own. She said that he's part of her and she's scared of trying to hurt him as she's worried it will hurt her.

I do not know what is going on with our daughter, but I was wondering if there were any resources (books or online sites) that might have a section for parents of children with DID?

Get a second opinion. What you describe could be anything depending on if she has been traumatized or not. A second opinion will help you in making the best decisions for your daughter.

[DreamDetective]

Thank you for the replies - sorry I have not been online in a few weeks. I've been throwing myself into anything that could help my daughter.

We do suspect my daughter of having some type of sexual trauma. She has no memory of it but says that in her memory room (a part of her brain that has tunnels she goes into to find memories) there is one section that is surrounded by a force field and is guarded by the mean one. She says that holds the bad memory. (She has all the symptoms of sexual trauma in other ways and both our therapist and psychiatrist state they feel she has had some type of sexual trauma).

We have tried to show kindness to the mean one, but he absolutely terrifies her. She has not slept alone since therapy started (November). There is also someone in her mind who protects her and he gets into fights with the mean one defending her (I'm not naming their names, but all the people in her mind have names, different ages and skin color). There is another man in her mind but we're not sure what purpose he has. There are various animals, but the majority are nice and encouraging to her. There is a little girl (she says she is her at age 4 or 5) who shows up frequently. When her protector takes my daughter away to be safe, the little one emerges. Since we homeschool, we have had to keep two sets of lesson plans depending on who is present for schoolwork (math especially - reading is not so bad, we just change the level of books we read). It's complicated and sometimes I feel very alone trying to parent under challenging circumstances. I don't want to do the wrong thing.

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by DreamDetective

Thank you for the replies - sorry I have not been online in a few weeks. I've been throwing myself into anything that could help my daughter.

We do suspect my daughter of having some type of sexual trauma. She has no memory of it but says that in her memory room (a part of her brain that has tunnels she goes into to find memories) there is one section that is surrounded by a force field and is guarded by the mean one. She says that holds the bad memory. (She has all the symptoms of sexual trauma in other ways and both our therapist and psychiatrist state they feel she has had some type of sexual trauma).

We have tried to show kindness to the mean one, but he absolutely terrifies her. She has not slept alone since therapy started (November). There is also someone in her mind who protects her and he gets into fights with the mean one defending her (I'm not naming their names, but all the people in her mind have names, different ages and skin color). There is another man in her mind but we're not sure what purpose he has. There are various animals, but the majority are nice and encouraging to her. There is a little girl (she says she is her at age 4 or 5) who shows up frequently. When her protector takes my daughter away to be safe, the little one emerges. Since we homeschool, we have had to keep two sets of lesson plans depending on who is present for schoolwork (math especially - reading is not so bad, we just change the level of books we read). It's complicated and sometimes I feel very alone trying to parent under challenging circumstances. I don't want to do the wrong thing.

What helped me was learning that the mean ones, in my case, are actually helpers. It sounds like your daughters mean one is actually trying to protect her from bad memories. Once I was able to see my mean ones as helpers I was able to talk with them and explain to them what it was I am doing. Right now I am dealing with an angry one who thinks I sould hurt myself because my little one is trying to tell. This angry one is doing what he was created to do. He is trying to keep sereates from me and my therapist. Now that I am aware of him I am going to try to help him to understand that it is ok to tell. That we are safe from the abuser and that telling will help us all. He may be saying mean things but he is actually trying to protect me from being punished for telling. Alters are originally created to help us survive. He is just stuck in time and the reason he was created is no longer a threat. I just need to help him to understand that. For me. once my mean acting alter learn that we are no longer in danger they seem to step aside.