[canuck1971]

I have this internal angry teenager. Mad at the world. Mad at me.

This part usually acts out by not talking in T or arguing with everyone around until people just get sick of me and just leave

Or when start losing weight this part starts binge eating. It is like every step forward, this part wants to drag me backwards

MT MT

Lately though this part is so angry that started to cut. I can see it happening, like I am observing but can't do anything to stop it

Not sure what to do. I not sure how to tell T about this, but I know I have to.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by canuck1971

I have this internal angry teenager. Mad at the world. Mad at me.

This part usually acts out by not talking in T or arguing with everyone around until people just get sick of me and just leave

Or when start losing weight this part starts binge eating. It is like every step forward, this part wants to drag me backwards

MT MT

Lately though this part is so angry that started to cut. I can see it happening, like I am observing but can't do anything to stop it

Not sure what to do. I not sure how to tell T about this, but I know I have to.

when ever my alters would start doing a new negative behavior my therapist and I would trace back to when that new negative behavior started.. and then that would tell us why its happening and how to stop it.

example ...yrs ago everything was going ok, I was in a relationship with a wonderful woman, and I was happy. this woman and I moved in together. suddenly something new started happening.. my partner kept finding me in the kitchen cutting. she didnt know I had DID and that I was most likely an alter. she would wake up, find I wasnt in bed and look for me and there I would be. She thought I was sleep walking and would take the knife away, lead me back to bed telling me everything was ok, bandage me then stay awake all night watching to make sure I wouldnt sleep walk again. the next morning she would tell me what happened.

Before this had happened I had been a self injurer so first we approached the issue from that angle and through back tracking we discovered it was only happening after this woman and I had been intimate..

what we discovered was that one of my alters was of the religious faith that is against same sex relationships on the intimate level. this woman and I had had intimate moments but they were few and far between. moving in together meant the frequency was naturally going to be increased. This alter was trying to punish me and break up the relationship before her higher power struck her down.

After my therapist and I discovered the reason behind the new destructive behavior, I talked with this woman and explained the situation.. I was DID, what DID was, how it affects me and that I had a negative type alter that was trying to harm me because of a religious issue against same sex intimacy. we went back to the non sexual forms of expressing love. to see if it was just the sex or the moving in together was the cause..the self injuring in the night stopped. from then on we took things at a slower rate. we added rules and a safe word to our sexual intimacy before we added sex back into the relationship, and we never had this problem again.

my point is that when new negative behaviors happen whether its an alter or the host or even with a normal person, adult or child that usually means something recently happened to make the person upset, uncomfortable and feeling like they have to harm or kill their self. find that activating event and taking steps to fix that activating event makes it so that the person no longer needs to self injure.

talk with your treatment providers, they can help you discover why this alter is suddenly self injuring, and help you and this alter stop doing harm to you.

[canuck1971]

I can see that stupid T's face already and then giving ME a lecture. what does she know. i cut to stop the images inside so SHE doesnt have to deal with the memories. plus she hangs out with this asshole that is bad news, so I am gonna make sure he doesnt get anywhere near us anymore. and i HATE when she says we dont really exist and that what happened was no big deal. she just doesnt get it

We have 2 like this also. T talks to them and they always fight with her. They get into screaming matches a lot. But they think its fun to get our t all riled up. She gets mad at them, they get mad at her, they just have fun. I am not sure if they will ever change much. T says they have had a few deep serious discussions before ( i dont recall them) and says they have good hearts down deep and theyre just acting out their pain. Im not so sure about that.