[Jennifer1084]

I find that I basically have a very small and limited support system. But I am slowly trying to add to my support system, it's so hard to do though. I know that by coming to PC I get to add one more place for support. I'm trying to find peole that I could count on for support. The only people I have is my T and a friend. My parents are not included in this because I don't trust them, even though I am 20. I just feel so alone in this big world. Any suggestions on how I can build my support system cause I don't know how to. I am just so scared to talk to people and be around people and all.

I had to just get rid of one of my support systems. This chat room I was going to. I just felt so tired of them judging me becuase I have a mental illness and I didn't seem to get support from them anymore. This is really bumming me out too. Because it is just one less place I can go t for support. I'm in desparate need for some support and any suggestions would really help.

Jennifer

[Evangelista]

Jennifer..I am so sorry...there are allot of great support forums here..but I am not sure about chats and stuff outside of PC.This has been my primary support outside of therapy and a group I attend..again I am sorry you are feeling bad about losing another avenue of support...but I am glad yur reaching out here..

[January]

(((((((((( Jennifer ))))))))))))))

I don't know about chat rooms or sites outside of PC but I thought you might like a hug.

Hugs,

Jan

[Bethsway]

Jennifer...Hi...I am new here...but want you to know I too am not good with people...takes me a long time to trust someone...but once I do...I am loyal friend forever...my definition of a friend is: someone who knows everything there is to know about you...and still remains by your side...! Welcome to PC...I hope you find the support you need...You can PM me anytime if you wish!

[Mahali]

Post deleted by January

[kimmydawn]

Hi Jennifer and welcome.

I'm sorry that you don't have alot of support IRL. I understand that very much. I don't talk about mental health issues in real life...only when it can't be avoided. I understand. I'm so much to so many IRL. I don't have many for me.

It's hard sometimes, and is a long, slow process. There are those here that will support you and understand. That doesn't take the place of support IRL, though. I know that. Have you discussed this with t? Possibly t can help you find a solution.

For online support, though, we're here and listening.

KD

[(JD)]

My own base support system is really only 3.. .my T, my PT and my MD...and in that, my T is the only one who always understands and cares unconditionally...

but.. through volunteering I do have others who don't realize how severe my PTSD and depression and chronic pain are... I have others who, if I ask for help... (on the spot) will help.

Sometimes just one or two good ppl who know all and support 24/7 is enough, if you can add plenty of others who care and would help on a spur of the moment..

good wishes in finding safe ppl

[Jennifer1084]

Thank you all for your support and comments. I am going to continue to try to find others who can be in my support system IRL. I know that it will be difficult but I know I need to get more people who will support me.

I also know that I should know that people here will support me, but it's just been so hard to really just open up and talk to people. I know I have posted some and it was really difficult to do. I just hope I can continue to get to know all of you. Thanks again and I look forward to opening up more here at PC.

Jennifer

Hi Jenifer -
I found that a great way to build on my support systems is to attend various kinds of therapy and support group and feel classes here in my local area.

Mental health agencies are always running all kinds of groups in the community for public awareness. For example one time my therapy agency put on an public education thing about depression and my therapist was the one designated to be the speaker.

there is always between one and three depression management groups going in this community at all times.

There is also another mental health agency that has anger management groups and parenting classes.

Theres also crisis agencies like rape crisis centers and domestic violence agencies that run groups many kinds of groups.

Theres also NAMI that is nation wide that runs all kinds of groups all the time. Contacting them they will tell you where the nearest group is on any subject that they work with theres too many for me to list but the topics on their message boards are also the topics for which they run with in their real word groups.

There is also many real world survivor groups on all kinds of things from drinking and drugs straight on through to suicide self harm and so on. to locate those read your local newspaper in the advertizement section.

the different departments in hospitals also run many types of educational, support and therapy groups especially the mental health units. Contacting those people will get you into the groups that are open to the public.

If you are looking for support and or therapy groups and support with DID specifically - for those kind of groups in real time you will have to contact mental health agencies, psychiatrists and psychologists in your area. support and therapy groups that are for a specific mental disorder where there is the potential for dangerious situations must have a licensed or certified therapist attending as a profession.

DID is one of them because you can have 2 people with DID in one room and not knowing all the triggers they can end up acting out violent memories at any point. for example if one persons trigger is eating oranges and the other person is talking about their day -

yea I went shopping and got a great deal on oranges.

the other person automatically goes into acting out their violent memory of having an orange smeared all over their face for not eating it. they start flailing their arms aroud swatting at the other person thinking they are trying to smear orange in their face. so now you have the dangerous situation where one memeber is hitting screaming and spitting at the other member of the group. and the other member can also get triggered by this because their trigger is getting hit so they go into acting out their violent memory of getting hit and trying to protect themself by picking up a chair and hitting the other member. now you have the members that make up the group attacking each other and can actually do harm or accidentally kill each other.

Groups for DID are out there but they are run by the professionals who can handle any situation that can possible happen with DID. So to find them you have to contact professionals.

on line groupsand chats are fine but I have found that when it comes to my needing to talk to someone right away I get more help from real world resourses like friends, mental health agencies, crisis centers, hot lines and so on

And all of these resourses above have free or sliding scale fees so that everyone can afford to attend.

And hey - can't find what you need?

theres alway starting your own support group. Its easy to do.
step 1 - decide focus area of group
Step 2 - decide where your group is going to meet.
step 3 - get word out to the public. I used the librarys computer to type up a flier (paper with the information about the type of group I was starting and my contact information so people could call me). then for $2.00 I printed up 20 pages. Folded them and left them around town some at the library community activities bulletin board, some with a local rape crisis agency and some at my local stores on the community bulletin boards) by the time I got home from distributing my fliers I had 5-10 calls asking anout the group and or people just needing to talk. - If you do this get a voicemail box with your telephone company (no charge for that service) or buy an answering machine. that way you can screen your calls. there is always that one nut that calls just to breath, or swear. If you happen to answer the phone and its a nut saying "wow you sure are in some pain maybe you will be more comfortable talking to my husband he's a cop and will know how to hep you" the nut hangs up. if he doesn't I set the phone down put a pillow over it and let them breath or swear at the pillow and I go onb with what I was doing before the phone call.

[wanttoheal]

Hi Jennifer,
I understand how hard it is to find support irl. My problem is that I do not find anyone safe and if they are not safe to me, I would never let them in enough to know I need support, let alone try to support me.

Right now, my T is my only support, but through her I am learning what safe means and so hopefully one day I will be able to increase the number in my support group.

I wish you much success as you reach out for support around you.