[cdlm]

my friend has DID and her alter has fallen in love with her boyfriend, whilst her, the 'dominant one' is in love with someone else. the alter addressed her through a letter and gave her a choice, either she stops thinking about suicide and goes with who she loves, or she lets her (the alter) take over and enjoy her relationship with her current boyfriend. the thing is, the alter was very hostile and bitter up until a few months ago, now she is completely different, she is in love. my friend decided she is going to let her alter take over and live her life until the inevitable occurs and heartbreak comes along and the alter retires back into her subconcious

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by cdlm

my friend has DID and her alter has fallen in love with her boyfriend, whilst her, the 'dominant one' is in love with someone else. the alter addressed her through a letter and gave her a choice, either she stops thinking about suicide and goes with who she loves, or she lets her (the alter) take over and enjoy her relationship with her current boyfriend. the thing is, the alter was very hostile and bitter up until a few months ago, now she is completely different, she is in love. my friend decided she is going to let her alter take over and live her life until the inevitable occurs and heartbreak comes along and the alter retires back into her subconcious

Im sorry but I dont see a question...was there something you wanted or were you posting what we call here a vent....getting something off your chest/rambling/journaling...

If you want to know whether this can happen, why and what to do about it....

well yes it does happen and heres why... you see alternate personalities with DID are a special type of alter...they function just like a any other person taking on a life of their own..this is possible because they are there to do a job, purpose and have a reason for being..if their job, purpose, reason for being is to socialize, fall in love, have relationships, have sex, then thats what they will do.

what to do about it...well theres not much you can do about it, its the way the alters is and why it was created..just like you have your own thoughts, who you like to choose for boyfriends/girlfriends.

your friend choosing to "let the alter take over" well she can choose that in her mind but whether it actually happens many different factors besides her "choosing". Dissociation is a normal reaction to being upset by something to a traumatic degree. if theres something in her life that your friend perceives to be a danger to herself then yea she will automatically dissociate and her alter will take over, though it may not be this one alter...a person who is DID has two or more alters..who comes out to do what depends upon each alters job, purpose, reason for being...for example if this alter is the one that deals with relationships during relationship situations that alter will be in control if your friend is triggered (unable to handle having relationships) then when theres a different situation for example school or work those alters that deal with school and work will be in control. this switching in and out between the alters will continue to happen until your friend is no longer triggered by what ever in her life that led to her dissociating.

example me and my alter Teri, Teri was one of the alters that dealt with relationship issues. She was heterosexual I the host am a lesbian. (Teri's choice for relationships was guys and mine is gals) she had a boyfriend and I had a girlfriend. Teri's job, purpose and reason for being was dating, having sex with guys and other couple type functions in which it would not have been acceptable for a lesbian couple. when ever I would get upset (triggered) by something sexual Teri was one of the alters that took over because sex was her "job" but if for example something at work triggered me then Teri was not the alter that took control because handling my work stress wasnt her job, purpose, reason for being. When I was feeling less stress because Teri dealt with the problem I (the person in which the alters resided in) became aware (not dissociated ) again.

thats how DID works. the alters take control to handle what ever their host can not based on what the alters job, purpose, reason for being there is, and when the person with DID is no longer upset by something they are automatically not dissociated any more.

please dont worry about your friend..this friend has been this way since before she was 5 yrs old, her alters have taken care of her this long they will continue to do so