[monty13]

Hello,
I've been diagnosed with complex PTSD and I have had episodes before where I zone out and lose small amounts of time. I'm not DID but I picture my mind like a drawer full of compartments where there's a long part down the middle which is me and then off to the side there's smaller compartments that tend to be suicidal or another which is angry and dark. When I'm under stress it seems that the drawer opens further and these bits become more prominent. The other day at work I had to be observed doing an interview and I was pretty anxious( it's the perfectionist in me!). Anyway I did ok except in the middle i got a bit lost but recovered ok. In the review of my performance turns out that I had asked a whole heap of questions that I don't remember asking at all. I'm finding it pretty frustrating that I can't remember- really like it never happened -apparently I spoke pretty quickly! Would this be just an anxiety related memory recall issue or dissociation where I actually wasn't present? It's a little worrying even though my supervisor and I had a laugh about my loss of memory- work has always been a safe place and i've been very particular to keep it untouched by my trauma history. Any comments greatly appreciated!

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by monty13

Hello,
I've been diagnosed with complex PTSD and I have had episodes before where I zone out and lose small amounts of time. I'm not DID but I picture my mind like a drawer full of compartments where there's a long part down the middle which is me and then off to the side there's smaller compartments that tend to be suicidal or another which is angry and dark. When I'm under stress it seems that the drawer opens further and these bits become more prominent. The other day at work I had to be observed doing an interview and I was pretty anxious( it's the perfectionist in me!). Anyway I did ok except in the middle i got a bit lost but recovered ok. In the review of my performance turns out that I had asked a whole heap of questions that I don't remember asking at all. I'm finding it pretty frustrating that I can't remember- really like it never happened -apparently I spoke pretty quickly! Would this be just an anxiety related memory recall issue or dissociation where I actually wasn't present? It's a little worrying even though my supervisor and I had a laugh about my loss of memory- work has always been a safe place and i've been very particular to keep it untouched by my trauma history. Any comments greatly appreciated!

Originally Posted by monty13

Would this be just an anxiety related memory recall issue or dissociation where I actually wasn't present?

Im sorry we cant tell you which this is in you, doing that is called making a diagnosis of your problems, which this site does not allow us to do....

that said what we can do is tell you whether we have had the same problem....

yes I have had this same problem. In .....me.....my treatment providers called it by many names depending upon other accompanying symptoms....

normal, stress, anxiety, mania, hypomania, depression, PTSD, psychotic episode, Multiple Sclerosis, sleep deprivation, dissociation, DID, Dissociative Amnesia, Eating disorder, medication related memory problem.........the list goes on with what this type of memory problem is in me...

to fond out what this is with in you, you will need to contact your own treatment providers ie medical doctor, therapist or psychiatric care provider..

[monty13]

Thanks for that- too true it could be lots if things. It's most likely me not paying attention and I'm reading too much into it. Cheers Monty

[Claritytoo]

[quote=monty13;3143217]Thanks for that- too true it could be lots if things. It's most likely me not paying attention and I'm reading too much into it. Cheers Monty[/quot

I hope you will be sharing that experience with your therapist. True it can be many things but it can also be DID. So it is important to do the follow up with your therapist. Take care.

[yellowfrog268]

I've experienced something similar where I was nervous about something and later could not recall what I said or what was said to me. When it happens, I don't see what is going on around me, it's like I am a horse wearing a pair of blinders, I believe it's called tunnel vision. For me it's pure anxiety. Hope your therapist can help you sort it out.

[monty13]

Thanks claritytoo and yellowfrog for the replies. I brought it up with my therapist who thinks that my anxiety level was too high leading to a bit of amnesia. I'm hoping that by learning some breathing techniques and mindfulness that it won't happen again - fingers crossed. I've zoned out before in different highly triggering situations, where I'm ok with not remembering, but work is something that I've always really tried to protect (if that makes sense). Cheers Monty