[pegasus]

Piece of advice I was given a long time ago by a very wise person.

Stand firm with your child.

That is to say, if you are aware of a child-part, stand firm with her/him. Don't abandon her/him, that's when you get problems.

That advice helped me to get some 'contact' and realise that sometimes the child-parts know better than you do!

Take care.

[kaliope]

pegasus

[Fuzzybear]

pegasus

[possum220]

Hiya Pegs,

I recently read an article that said if you fully integrate all of the child parts grow up and one of them takes charge. Seems to make sense to make sense with what you said.

Just gotta get past the gate keepers first.

[Bloem]

Thanks for sharing!

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by possum220

Hiya Pegs,

I recently read an article that said if you fully integrate all of the child parts grow up and one of them takes charge. Seems to make sense to make sense with what you said.

Just gotta get past the gate keepers first.

when all my parts integrated with me no children "grew up" and no child parts took charge. I the host became the one in control or your word in charge because there was no more "parts" to take control...they became one with me..

integration for me was kind of like taking three glasses of water ...one boiling, one freezing and one neutral...when mixed together with the neutral glass the integrated glass of water did not become freezing or boiling. neither the boiling water nor the freezing water took control over the neutral water.. it all became luke warm water.

We all became one whole human being again with only me the host in control of every thing. They are still here just in a different way. everything they were became me... example I now have the memory of being abused in a mine shaft. this memory used to be with in an alter. I can now cry when I am sad. this action used to be the alter named Rainey. I can now laugh when I am happy. this Emotion used to be named Sunny....

they became me, I became them -- a mixture of all with no alters taking control. I still feel Raineys age when I cry and I still feel Sunnys age when I laugh..IO still feel the same age Red was when I am angry....no one aged...we all just became a mixture of one whole human being, instead of so many alters constantly taking control.

[yellowted]

my logic says that an inner child needs consistant firm boundries just like all children, they need love and support, not spoiling. given the right nurturing they more likely to grow up and intergrate than those who are dismissed/ignored as this is why they never grew up in the first place