[kaliope]

so after over three and a half years working with a t that avoided my trauma like the plague, I have a new t that is focused on nothing but my trauma. she changed my ptsd diagnosis to ptsd with dissociation. I chose her because she did hypnosis and I tried that once and it really helped with my anxiety. she did hypnosis with me last session and tried to talk to others. I have a hard time grasping that I have others. I need help understanding this. I have never lost time. well once when I was committed, I remember coming to on the floor in the hospital room and I don't remember how I got there or what happened. I know ive dissociated and been so deep I haven't been able to stop automatic pilot of my actions and ive dyed my hair purple or self harmed while in a trance like state, feeling trapped in my head as if someone else were in control. and then there are lucia and fae, my inner children. lucia is six and fae is four. lucia is the protector and fae took all the abuse while I went away. lucia is very angry at me for this. I discovered them through inner childwork and meditations. so I don't know if they are alters or just aspects of self I made up long ago. but so during hypnosis the other day, it was like I just knew lucia was there. first I felt sadness, then anger. I became very agitated. t asked if there was anybody who had anything to say and there was this overwhelming need to say something. it was so strong. but there was nothing there. no words, no thoughts, no feelings. nothing. t brought me back and I felt this gaping hole inside of me, so hollow. I didn't want to leave. so does this sound like DID? what am I getting myself into? I don't want to rehash all this trauma for nothing....I just want to get rid of my anxiety

[pegasus]

Hello Kaliope, sometime ago you wrote in a thread of mine, your experience of when you were in hospital. I suspected then that you were DID but thought you must have known too...

I know it is scary to have this diagnosis or seems that way but actually you are now on the road to healing. It's a long journey but it's worth it. My heart is with you.

[Fuzzybear]

I think it sounds like DID. I send you my love