[kaliope]

so I am new to this DID thing. I have what I guess you can call two alters that I know of, an angry six year old and a scared four year old. they took all the abuse. the six year old is angry at me for leaving them to take all the abuse alone. I dissociated way back then, abandoned them and don't remember anything of my childhood. she is always mean to me when I contact her and despite repeated attempts does not want to trust or forgive me. I have known about them since 1994 discovering them doing inner child meditation but have never considered them alters, just inner children, aspects of myself. but when I talk to lucia, the 6 yr old, she answers back in my head, she fights with me, we have conversations back and forth while journaling. fae, the four year old, really just gives me feelings, doesn't talk much. but so now t is treating them as alters. this just seems so weird to me. accepting this DID and talking about them that way seems so odd. it has me talking to lucia and fae again and they are scared and don't trust and I have assured them I have found someone who will listen and believe their story. but then I question am I only talking to myself. this doesn't make logical sense to me. didn't I just make up these children in my mind? aren't I just talking to myself? I just don't have a grasp on this. I cant make sense of it. ive always referred to myself as shattered, but I never thought that there was more than one of me. now it seems there is and that is hard for me to grasp. how do you do that? how do you make sense of that? how do you believe that you aren't making it up? I guess I should ask t these questions since she is the one taking me down this road. just thought maybe some of you could share your experience in discovering yourself on this path. thanks

[Fuzzybear]

Hope it's ok to send you a hug
(crap at advice usually)

[likewater]

My kids like to color eat cookies and they like teddy bears. Oh and we watch pixar and disney movies. They don't blame the grown up me for not protecting them, because when you think about it the grown up me didn't exist yet. Does that make sense? They couldn't protect themselves because they
were kids , and you, at least your grown up self wasn't grown up yet, so of course you couldn't protect them. It wasn't your fault.

[likewater]

Oh, I was kind of responding to your other thread above. Well in a way, you ARE talking. To yourself because they are pieces of yourself. I really identify with you feeling shattered. May angels surround you.

[granny475]

I struggle with understanding all of this at times too ... sometimes we don't even want to admit that we are the way we are. Constantly questioning!! The confusion comes and goes. We are learning to accept each other and work together. We were diagnosed 5 years ago and still struggle ..... don't be so hard on yourself. It does get easier to understand.
Our little ones are afraid of almost everybody and only trust other people after a lonnnnnnnggggg time of knowing them. I guess the easiest way for us was to learn to let each of us have our time to be who we are. I hear all the voices in my head .... we all listen to each other and help each other face our fears.
Each one of you serves an important purpose!!! Honor and respect that. We are all a part of the whole.
Sorry, so many of us want to say things. Not being much help
But, who gets to say that talking to yourselves is a bad thing??? We have found it most helpful ... to communicate with each other within.