[happykittenses]

Yesterday I was feeling very depressed and suicidal. I was trying to think through all of my problems and I felt like I was getting tangled in a web of complicated nonsense that made no sense at all - the closer I got to making sense of it, the more something else stopped making sense. Eventually I gave up and put myself to bed at 4 in the afternoon. I woke up at midnight and took an allergy pill to help myself sleep through the rest of the night.

Now I feel like I've somehow broken my mind. I feel like a different person this morning. I don't feel the same types of emotional attachments to things, I feel like I have fewer emotions. I feel like all of my perceptions of things are different. I don't feel like me anymore, it's almost like I'm standing outside of the confusing, muddled mess that is--well, me. But I'm scared, because I don't know where I am or who I am if I'm not me. I need to find out how to get back inside of myself. I feel like this isn't even reality. Help please, I need to know what to do. Will this go away? This has never happened before, at least not like this. It feels kind of nice, but I don't want to be like this forever.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by happykittenses

Yesterday I was feeling very depressed and suicidal. I was trying to think through all of my problems and I felt like I was getting tangled in a web of complicated nonsense that made no sense at all - the closer I got to making sense of it, the more something else stopped making sense. Eventually I gave up and put myself to bed at 4 in the afternoon. I woke up at midnight and took an allergy pill to help myself sleep through the rest of the night.

Now I feel like I've somehow broken my mind. I feel like a different person this morning. I don't feel the same types of emotional attachments to things, I feel like I have fewer emotions. I feel like all of my perceptions of things are different. I don't feel like me anymore, it's almost like I'm standing outside of the confusing, muddled mess that is--well, me. But I'm scared, because I don't know where I am or who I am if I'm not me. I need to find out how to get back inside of myself. I feel like this isn't even reality. Help please, I need to know what to do. Will this go away? This has never happened before, at least not like this. It feels kind of nice, but I don't want to be like this forever.

Im sorry but we can not tell you what to do and whether it will go away (your questions with in your post) we dont do that here. what I can tell you is what this is called in my location and what is done about it when it happens to me, only your treatment providers can say what this is in you, what to do about it and whether it will go away for you....

here in NY (the one in the USA as opposed to other locations) what you describe is called medication hang over and sleep deprivation. the reason why its called that now here in NY is because with the new standards put out by the American psychiatric association in the DSM 5, things like medication problems, sleep issues and other better explained mental and physical health issues have to be ruled out before they can be diagnosed with a dissociative disorder. since you stayed up until 4 am and took a medication that has to be considered ruled out first.

my suggestion is if this continues to bother you contact your treatment providers. they will be able to tell you whether this is sleep deprivation, a medication issue, a combo of both or a depersonalization issue and how to best treat it.

the best part is whether its medication, a sleep issue, a combo of both or depersonalization it is relatively easy to fix through getting the right amount of sleep, a medication change/adjustment and learning how to ground yourself back in reality (most people learn this through therapy and utilizing things that are calming to them, for example what grounds me when feeling dissociative symptoms is taking my canoe out on the lake and rowing around, getting in touch with nature.)

[Claritytoo]

Have you spoken to your therapist about all this? If you are not seeing a therapist it might help if you do. We all go through many different experiences in our lives. It sounds like depression to me but I am not a doctor and I think you need to talk with someone who knows about this stuff. I hope you start feeling better. Take care.