[GenCat]

Instead of coping and facing and accepting my life, I dissociate and ignore everything like its not happening. Current problem my college closed back in April, it is now July and I still have not chosen somewhere to go. I think im in denial or something. I refuse to think about it I just kind of want to die before my future happens.

[Claritytoo]

Sometimes I get stuck and am unable to move forward because some of us have different ideas of what we should be doing. So I get tired of trying to figure who's idea is the best and do nothing. Once I realize I am able to push myself forward.

[Kiya]

your future is happening now even as you wait for it. There is no future - just this moment, and this moment, and the next. All my words are already in the past. So since there is nowhere to "go" before your future comes (since you're already in it as it happens), take each day as it comes and take one small step. Try saying yes to even small openings.
best!

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by GenCat

Instead of coping and facing and accepting my life, I dissociate and ignore everything like its not happening. Current problem my college closed back in April, it is now July and I still have not chosen somewhere to go. I think im in denial or something. I refuse to think about it I just kind of want to die before my future happens.

here in NY where I live and work we have two different terms....

dissociation ... and ...disassociaiton.

....dissociation.... is things like feeling numb, spacy, foggy minded and is just a bodily reaction to things. you know like if someone says something funny you automatically smile or laugh and if someone says something you dont like you automatically show anger.... this kind of thing cant be planned, purposely doing it (at least thats the belief with mental health agencies here where I am) example I cant just stand up and say ok I dont like my life today so Im going to be foggy minded, numb and a space cadet today, tomorrow Ill have a better day where I will not be foggy minded, numb and spacy, dissociaiton is just a normal reaction that happens to every one like smiling at something funny or crying/showing sadness when sad....

Disassociaiton (pronounced dis-association) on the other hand is purposely pulling one self away from things...I disassociated from a family picnic meaning I purposely decided not to participate in a family picnic. I disassociated a softball activity meaning I purposely quit the softball team and didnt pay the game anymore.

the reason I told you my locations definitions was so that you would understand my reply in terms of my own location...

its ok to disassociate (purposely ignore/ refuse to think about) things you are not ready to think about. I know many people who do the same things. sometimes its a person on vacation and during that vacation time they refuse to think about/contemplate whats going on at work. I know people who have to change treatment providers and purposely choose to ignore/think about and procrastinate looking for a new treatment provider until the last minute or until something happens to where they need a treatment provider. most college students around here where I am located, who are changing schools/majors, dont usually start registering and contemplating their next step until August. Thats when colleges around here start putting out their fall schedules and registering students. we even get students how register for classes right up to the first week of classes. Some students around here even take breaks between their active semesters of classes. going during fall and taking the summer off or vice versa taking fall/spring off and attending classes in the summer.

my point is dont be so hard on yourself. it is completely normal to not want to think about the next college/nextr set of classes. and if need be its ok if you decide you dont want to go back to school just yet. it is ok to set what ever schedule and schooling that is right for you. from the sounds of your post you are ready to just enjoy the summer and not think about what the fall is going to bring, thats perfectly fine and understandable. Enjoy your summer schooling will be there any time you are ready to think about it and go back.