sorry, can't leave this stuff up here any longer

[Terabithia]

If you are suicidal you ought to go in the hospital.

Could your therapist refer you to a psychiatrist? I doubt your therapist sees you as a burden - therapists become therapists because they care - patients are not a burden but a calling.

I was frightened the first time I went in the hospital too, but it turned out to be a very safe place.

[Claritytoo]

I think it would be a good idea to talk to your t. Your therapist is there to support you through the tough times. If all you can afford is once a week than once a week is fine. I take medication that helps me with my panic attacks and suicidal thoughts. Try doing grounding exorcises. I use ice to ground myself in the present. You will be ok. But I think it is important to share your thoughts with your t. Feel better.

[Kiya]

I put myself in when I can't handle another day and I know I can't commit to safety. When the majority of my inner "team" is bent on harm and I am in overwhelm, it is time for me to ask for help, and that's the only help I have that can really do for me what I can't. I don't have people around me I can call for help or who can step in and take some pressures off me like cooking, cleaning, basic self care. WHen I'm down to basic survival mode and I am too tired to keep even that up, that's my red flag.
I hope you will be able to make good choices for your self.