![]() |
FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
#1
|
|||
|
|||
I'm not sure if I could be considered a text book case or what...but I do know that waking up every morning is like opening up a gift from your aunt Gertrude or 90 year old grandma. (please take no offense as that is just used to make a point not insult anyone) at Christmas time or your birthday. You know its going to be unthinkable, possibly embarrassing but you still have no idea what could possibly be in the box.
OK that being said...let me explain a little about myself and my diagnosis.I was diagnosed officially with DID about a year ago, but my therapist had suspicion for years. I have been seeing my therapist twice a week for over a year now and I still have no idea what is going to happen when I go to her office. We are still meeting all the personalities. I lost count of how many we have met...its something like 15. They rang in age from a few months old to currently 19. There ate girls which make sense since I am female. There are at least 5 boys. They vary in ethnic and cultural backgrounds. I know there is one that is extremely critical of her body and is anorexic.... and there is at least one who just doesn't care. What is challenging is I don't know who is going to be active on which day it for how long. There are plenty of times where the traits of a person is present but not the person themselves. By this I mean...my clothing style will change, whether I wear makeup or style my hair these are determined based on whose traits are present. My favorite color changes, my favorite food, even my favorite author changes. Even my favorite beverage changes. I joke with others saying it is easier to ask what is not my favorite than what is. This of course makes it very challenging to meet a significant other because I come off as elusive and indecisive. But on the same token explaining to someone you barely know that you have at least 15 different personalities living inside you that influence your everyday life can be scary as well...as this could very well scare a person off who doesn't understand. I hope this gives you an idea of living with DID...or at least for me. |
![]() amandalouise
|
#2
|
|||
|
|||
It helped me to understand that my parts were created by me to protect me. I haven't found any interjects yet. I do have parts that would hurt me but that was more copycat behavior. Treating me like my mother did by hitting me or degrading me. Because of therapy I learned to talk with my parts, accept that I have parts and now try to understand what they need so they can integrate. I have three groups of parts and they don't seem to know what each other says, or does. Some still don't know they are parts. (it scares me to admit that) But we have managed to hold down a job for over 20 years, raise a child, and fit into the world when we need to. What most of want from therapy is to be able to remember the trauma, grieve the physical and emotional pain of the trauma, and experience the rest of our life with emotion. We all want to feel our life, what it is to live. I didn't start seeing a therapist until I was in my late forties. I was having massive panic attacks. A small amont of zanax and a small amount of zoloft helped with my overwhelming panic attacks and compulsive thinking. Once that was quelled I was able to participate in my therapy. It was a lot to take in at first, but so far so good. I am glad you have a therapist that understands DID. Thank you for sharing and I wish you well
|
Reply |
|