[deicher82]

My roomate whom I love dearly has DID and has many parts. Many of which are children and they are most likely to come visit. I've never had experience with this particular diagnosis and I'm one of the only people she (and they) trust. I'm generally just wondering how best to handle her parts when they come out. I've done fairly well so far at keeping them calm as well as coaxing them to let the adult her come back. Anyone have any words of wisdom? I don't want to treat her like a child and being a mother I've found it relatively successful to give her "kids", as she calls them, small tasks and responsibilities which seems to keep them from getting agitated. I'm really feeling very lost and since she/they trust me I don't want to let them down. Thanks in advance for the support y'all!

[geis]

Have you asked her/them how she/they would like you to respond? That's probably a good first step because there's no universal way that everyone with DID wants people to respond when they switch. That can vary based on the system, which parts are out, and their relationship with that particular person.

Personally, when my child parts are out, I find it most helpful when people interact with them the same way they'd interact with chronological children. For my child parts, being expected to be an adult can be frightening and overwhelming, but it's something they have to do way too often. Only a few people know about my DID, so if someone knows a child part is present, it's because I/we trust them greatly, so it would feel safe for them to respond to the child part as they would any other child.

But that's just me/us, and your roommate may feel differently. Talking about it is always a good idea. She may not have definite answers for you yet, but just having the conversation could be useful for both of you.

[deicher82]

We have had the conversation already. She tells me to do the best I can and that I'm the first person other than a counselor or therapist that she/they have trusted so far. I didn't mean to imply that I try to get the child part to be an adult. This part is one I'm familiar with and is a 9 year old boy. I fortunately have a 10 year old son so I do fairly well with her/him by giving her/him small tasks to complete along with a lot.of encouragement and praise.

Thank you for the response.

[Gr3tta]

I know it must seem weird to treat your adult friend this way. But when she is her alter she truly is that age. Its not condescending to treat her as a young boy. Sounds like you're on the right track. Good question.

[deicher82]

Thank you! I truly appreciate the info and encouragement!