[seesaw]

So last night, I made a video recording on my laptop of myself having a conversation with the other part of me, the voice in my head I keep hearing -- not an alter -- more an aspect of myself surfacing.

I have had time loss in the past in dissociative episodes. And as I mentioned in another thread, I blacked out while riding my bike yesterday and crashed. Well, I don't think I blacked out all the way, but I momentarily lost motor control. I'll come back to this in a minute.

So I made the video, and I left my laptop on and plugged in all night and all through today until tonight. And I realized I needed to save it. I had been chatting in the forums for a while, and I do recall putting my head on my desk for just a minute. And then I got distracted and went to do something. The important thing is that I am CERTAIN that I did not save the file, much less name it.

When I came back to it a while later and hit save, the file had already been saved and named...and not necessarily a name I would have given it. WTF.

About the bike crash. The aspect of my personality that I had been "communicating" with was 5 years old. I am coming to believe that she was trying to take physical control while I was riding the bike and that's why we crashed.

Or I'm just totally crazy and f'd up out of my mind.

But I don't remember the few seconds leading up to crashing, and I am an extremely experienced cyclist.

I know I didn't save that file. And I know I don't just suddenly lose all balance and motor control and run into curbs on my bike.

I feel like I'm losing my mind. Hearing voices.

I called my pdoc yesterday and asked for him to call me urgently when he gets in on Monday. I hope this is just a side effect from new drugs and it's just like hallucinations or something.

Does anyone have experience with this?

Seesaw

[sideblinded]

(((((seesaw)))))

You did the right thing as far as calling your doc. Many others are experiencing what you are going through. You are not alone at all. Hang in there!

[Fuzzybear]