a piece of the puzzle

went into t with nothing to talk about and then ended up talking about how anxious and uncomfortable i get spending time with my children. how i just want it to end! so she said...what part of you is it that feels this way? close your eyes and ask....i absolutely hate talking to parts.......partly because i question if they are real or if i am making them up. but my head began to really hurt, like it does when an alter is coming to talk and then i felt all kinds of chaos in there and finally i heard maggie, my suicidal alter. and she explained if we spend much time with them then there will be an attachment and that will cause all kinds of pain when it comes time to kill ourselves. we dont want them to hurt so we have to keep our distance. this made me very sad. but it was very interesting. it feels like i have been given a piece of the puzzle - why i have never been able to connect with people. this makes sense. something in my life makes sense. there is a reason i am so weird.

so i have my alter lucia who leads to my agoraphobia, because if we go out, we could encounter people who might hurt us and now maggie who doesnt let me connect with people because she wants to spare them pain for when she offs us. both these things cause me distress in my daily life so it is nice to know that by working with them we can fix it and it isnt part of some cursed lifelong mental illness.

does anybody else have similar issues going on?

Kali

I am not able to help you with this so I will be your cheerleader and shout out to those who experience these types of things to come along and share their comments that may be of help. Does anyone here share these types of experiences?

(((((((( Kali )))))))))