I need to know more

I need to know more about people with DID who don't have a host/self. Does anyone know of any books or articles about this?

right after I wrote this thread I googled and found this. It is helpful

Alter - Dissociative Identity Disorder, Dissociation and Trauma Disorders

Ooh. Thanks Claritytoo. That link just spawned nearly a whole afternoon of reading and research for me!

Awhile ago, I was diagnosed with DD-NOS. Ended up dropping out of therapy to stabilize myself (T was not helping), and recently started seeing a new (non DD specialist) T... and just sort of dipping my toes in the water with telling him about all the DD stuff, to gauge how he'll respond.

I was a little frustrated with trying to figure out how to express some stuff, and wrote a bunch last night about feeling like there are two "me"s - the very logical, sane, normal one who does great in the world... and the emotional side, that is a scary mess, but that I can't seem to show in therapy, and that feels unreal to me when I'm logical/sane.

Your link talks about "structural dissociation" and the "ANP" (apparently normal personality) versus the "EP" (emotional personality - if I'm remembering right).

It was like... "Oh. Well, yeah. There it is." I've been reading more, and think I'm going to try to be brave and print out some stuff for my (poor!) T. I'm a little nervous, but I told him in the last session that I'm afraid the DD stuff might be too much for him, and he'll quit on me (happened with an old T). So, he told me that he was pretty committed to working with me, as long as *I'm* not going to quit (hmm) and barring anything like me going completely catatonic in which case he'd have to have me hospitalized (eek).

Phew. Sorry, I'm sure this is long... just needed to blab a bit because I had not actually seen the "structural dissociation" stuff previously, and it matched what I had *just* written out so eerily well!

So, thank you again for that!

Right on claritytoo. That webpage helped me understand the roles that a few of my alters play. It's easy to tell for some like who the "'Host' of the Day" is....that's a joke so let's not go nutz on it, or who is the nurturer. I've got a few old alters that need to be kept tied down and now I know that there is an alter for that. They won't tell me who but keep warning me that when I drink, my inhibitations go down and they are able to break loose and run amuck. With the right med adjustments I quit drinking.

Interesting it says there is no original alter. I figured that an original is the first personality that got fragmented. I guess not. I'll have to investigate further. Nice find though.

Too many words to read in the link.