[Bluegrey]

I'm not really sure about all this, but I suppose I'm just hoping for a bit of reassurance.

I'm having EMDR treatment for PTSD and since the last session I have been feeling odd. I know that I dissociate to some extent (I remember very little of my childhood, and have blanked out all the details of a csa (by strangers) which I am now getting hints of during the EMDR sessions).

During that last session, I realised that there was, and is, a part of me that people can't get to to hurt. During the assault I somehow hid inside this part of myself. I can also remember feeling kind of separate for a lot of the time as a child and teenager - there was a lot of difficult stuff with my mum who had a long term illness and was also an alcoholic - in the EMDR session I described this as being the part of me that coped. Sorry if this isn't making sense.

Anyŵay, since the session I have been feeling separate and numb again, as if I don't care. I spent so many years like that, but I escaped eventually and am now usually much more aware of my own emotions and feel warm towards other people. But now it feels like it used to, I feel very separate, almost cold. Numb, maybe. The day after the session I hardly did anything, just sat in the chair most of the day. Since then it has felt as if I am on autopilot, I'm doing things as normal but I don't feel anything.

Does this sound familiar to anyone? I've done a bit of reading and it sounds like depersonalisation, I think. How do I get back again? I don't know what to make of this, it's weird.

Thanks for any thoughts.

Bluegrey

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Bluegrey

I'm not really sure about all this, but I suppose I'm just hoping for a bit of reassurance.

I'm having EMDR treatment for PTSD and since the last session I have been feeling odd. I know that I dissociate to some extent (I remember very little of my childhood, and have blanked out all the details of a csa (by strangers) which I am now getting hints of during the EMDR sessions).

During that last session, I realised that there was, and is, a part of me that people can't get to to hurt. During the assault I somehow hid inside this part of myself. I can also remember feeling kind of separate for a lot of the time as a child and teenager - there was a lot of difficult stuff with my mum who had a long term illness and was also an alcoholic - in the EMDR session I described this as being the part of me that coped. Sorry if this isn't making sense.

Anyŵay, since the session I have been feeling separate and numb again, as if I don't care. I spent so many years like that, but I escaped eventually and am now usually much more aware of my own emotions and feel warm towards other people. But now it feels like it used to, I feel very separate, almost cold. Numb, maybe. The day after the session I hardly did anything, just sat in the chair most of the day. Since then it has felt as if I am on autopilot, I'm doing things as normal but I don't feel anything.

Does this sound familiar to anyone? I've done a bit of reading and it sounds like depersonalisation, I think. How do I get back again? I don't know what to make of this, it's weird.

Thanks for any thoughts.

Bluegrey

I dont know about in the UK (where your profile says you are located) but here in america this can be many different things. for example in me depending upon other accompanying symptoms my treatment providers have called it psychosis, PTSd, sleep Deprivation, anxiety, depression, bipolar, DID depersonalization/derealization....gosh in me I bet it was called just about every thing in the DSM and PDR books.

in all situations the fix for remaining grounded (or in your words get back) depended upon what it was called. sometimes medication helped, sometimes doing physical activities helped, sometimes the fix was more in depth therapy work, ....lots of different things worked for me depending upon what it was diagnosed as in me...

my suggestion let your treatment provider know you had this side effect during and after doing your EMDR. this way they will know and be able to tell you what needs to be done so that this doesnt keep happening and you can feel better during and after your EMDR.

[Fuzzybear]