[LA-ML]

I saw my T today. She told me the reason I have been so confused is because I am not listening to my insiders. She told me that if I would let them out and listen to them that it would help. We talked for a little while and then she read my journal. She told me that there was a lot of SU in it and that that was not good. I have an insider that we call Death. She asked if everyone in me realized that if Death actually knew that if I died that we all would die. And his answer was yes. That is when she started to talk to my other insiders.
We found out that all of my insiders are afraid of Death. And that they are some that just want to hide. My T taught me a new skill and we talked about my brother's coming up wedding. She told me that we need to have different/older insiders come out for the wedding and let the rest stay inside and not let them see anything. (My abusers will be at the wedding.)
I also talked to my house supervisor about the wedding. She told me that I could go to the wedding by myself. I was thinking YES I can have a drink!! Then we started talking about the reason that I wanted a staff to come with which was I did not want to deal with my Mom alone if she starts drinking. She told me that I could not be alone with my Mom if she decides to drink. I also would not be able to stay in the same room with her and I would have to pay for my own hotel room. Which my Mom said she would help pay for the room but I do not think that she is going to pay for a room just for me.
Anyways, I am all over the place and I am sorry...Thank you![/FONT]

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by LA-ML

I saw my T today. She told me the reason I have been so confused is because I am not listening to my insiders. She told me that if I would let them out and listen to them that it would help. We talked for a little while and then she read my journal. She told me that there was a lot of SU in it and that that was not good. I have an insider that we call Death. She asked if everyone in me realized that if Death actually knew that if I died that we all would die. And his answer was yes. That is when she started to talk to my other insiders.
We found out that all of my insiders are afraid of Death. And that they are some that just want to hide. My T taught me a new skill and we talked about my brother's coming up wedding. She told me that we need to have different/older insiders come out for the wedding and let the rest stay inside and not let them see anything. (My abusers will be at the wedding.)
I also talked to my house supervisor about the wedding. She told me that I could go to the wedding by myself. I was thinking YES I can have a drink!! Then we started talking about the reason that I wanted a staff to come with which was I did not want to deal with my Mom alone if she starts drinking. She told me that I could not be alone with my Mom if she decides to drink. I also would not be able to stay in the same room with her and I would have to pay for my own hotel room. Which my Mom said she would help pay for the room but I do not think that she is going to pay for a room just for me.
Anyways, I am all over the place and I am sorry...Thank you![/font]

You have a lot going on. I hope things work out for you.

[Kiya]

"She asked if everyone in me realized that if Death actually knew that if I died that we all would die. And his answer was yes."

I have also had this question asked of us... and like you, the answer was yes. my t couldn't understand that. I just simply told her It's a long story.

I do hope you can hold to your boundaries and have a plan B should your mom pressure you. Sounds like good boundary-making in the process!