[Kiya]

Had another "biting incident" where 10 snaps - My mom again. I keep telling 10 we have to use words. She had a major meltdown in the car on the way home and I had to pull off the road while she yelled, screamed at me, hissed, and cried. Nearly hyperventilated. But did call a DID friend.
And I can't tell pnurse because I signed a paper that "I will let her know if there are any further incidences with either biting or driving, and appropriate measures will be taken; not limited to restricting driving if necessary if strong alters are taking over". I will not lose my driving privileges!!!

My safety net is gone. Where I thought I could get help with the behavior is gone.
New t told me to get 10 a ball to chew on 22 said to me "she's not a d... Dog".
"I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine"
And alone.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Kiya

Had another "biting incident" where 10 snaps - My mom again. I keep telling 10 we have to use words. She had a major meltdown in the car on the way home and I had to pull off the road while she yelled, screamed at me, hissed, and cried. Nearly hyperventilated. But did call a DID friend.
And I can't tell pnurse because I signed a paper that "I will let her know if there are any further incidences with either biting or driving, and appropriate measures will be taken; not limited to restricting driving if necessary if strong alters are taking over". I will not lose my driving privileges!!!

My safety net is gone. Where I thought I could get help with the behavior is gone.
New t told me to get 10 a ball to chew on 22 said to me "she's not a d... Dog".
"I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine"
And alone.

question....if this was someone else what would you tell them...reason i ask this is right now you are in the emotional side of this. take yourself out of the equation for a moment and imagine this is happening to someone else while they are driving. or teaching. now imagine this person is in one car and you are in another car on the same road... how is what they are going through going to affect you... would what is happening to them put you another driver in danger of having an accident for which you may not survive.

my point is yes its hard to give up driving, its horrible and not fair, that something out of your control is costing you , your right to drive... but so will being in prison for knowing this is not safe and purposely putting others in danger, possibly killing another human being. I know its hard. Ive been there. I had to give up my driving in order to not harm another human being due to my health issues. what got me to see reason was that my wife sat me down and said what good is being able to drive if you are in prison for murder because you lost control while driving. she was right, its well and good to be able to drive but those driving privileges are wasted if you end up harming someone.

driving privileges can be given back/returned/reinstated after the problems have been taken care of, a human beings life is not able to be given back, returned should you ave an accident while driving and losing control.

my suggestion is do this on your terms. go to the motor vehicle department and hand in your license before you even tell your pnurse. then later on down the road after this problem has been cleared up reapply for your license to be returned. sometimes all thats needed is a doctors statement that your mental and physical health no longer poses a danger to yourself and others to have the license reinstated/reactivated.

this way maybe it wont feel like a punishment but rather you doing a good deed of being responsible and saving lives.

[possum220]

Sitting on the floor with you. You wanna play with my stuffie?

[Fuzzybear]

That stinks (I've got a winnie the pooh stuffie - here for you)

[Kiya]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

question....if this was someone else what would you tell them...reason i ask this is right now you are in the emotional side of this. take yourself out of the equation for a moment and imagine this is happening to someone else while they are driving. or teaching. now imagine this person is in one car and you are in another car on the same road... how is what they are going through going to affect you... would what is happening to them put you another driver in danger of having an accident for which you may not survive.
)

Good reframing. What I see now is that i (as the person in the other car ) would have never known that that driver was having issues. There was no careless driving, no swerving, no speeding or being erratic.

I was safe , got off the road until I could regain myself and be calm. Sometimes I take myself too seriously.

[Kiya]

Possum, Fuzzy, Always, thanks. Stuffies are good. Thanks for sitting with me

[Claritytoo]

My Grandson is on the Autisium spectrim. When he was between 1 and 4 he used to bite when ever he was upset. My grandson had delayed speech and could not express his anger and frustration in words. When he would bite he would lose a privilege, like tv or video games or a snack. It took a long time to get him to stop biting. Between the speech therapy, which enabled him to verbally communicate his feelings, and the punishment for biting he stopped. Now he is 6 and when he gets angry he will yell at the person. He gets his point across without needing to do physical harm. Maybe the part that bites isn't able to use speech. Maybe ask this part if they can speak. If he can't, maybe another part can buddy up with him and speak for him. I have a young one who can speak for the little ones if needed.

We have a little one that bites. She used to do it a lot more than now. T got her a sturdy and cute teething thing to chew on. She would take it to therapy with her when she got upset (she is only 3). It helped. Maybe try something like that?

[Kiya]

Things for us to think about. I did used to take privileges away from her when she got violent with me. She does speak, but for a while, things got pretty bad and she shredded my journal with her sharp. I was so mad, I ripped up her calendar picture of a wolf. (not good times). When she would SI on me, I would take away her wolf stuffy. We got to a point where we were able to communicate better and not resort to those measures.
But with T very close to death from cancer, she is near hysterical and nearly back to being "feral" at times. T was the one person in this world who looked on her with absolute love, tenderness, and understanding - and saw the potential. They had a very special bond. and that is going to be very difficult. This past year, T has stayed in contact with us -even as individual selves - and written to us all. Her death will be very hard for us.... I'm not even sure how to help my wolf child.... T always said "I was raised by wolves", and even tho the two of them REALLY got into it once, they were super close and understood each other in ways the rest of me never quite got.
Right now I am working on restraining her howl of anguish that is building up (at this topic) so that the neighbors don't call the police or crisis team on me.
Ideas?

[Claritytoo]

Maybe she could think about honoring her relationship with T by doing what she and T agreed on. The best way to hold someone close to your heart is to go forward as you would know they would want you to. T is very ill and may die. I am certain that T would be comforted to know that wolf is doing the things they worked on. Losing someone is very difficult. Living the life that T wanted you all to live is a strong peaceful way to honor her. It will be difficult at times but it can happen

[Kiya]

Originally Posted by Claritytoo

Maybe she could think about honoring her relationship with T by doing what she and T agreed on. The best way to hold someone close to your heart is to go forward as you would know they would want you to. T is very ill and may die. I am certain that T would be comforted to know that wolf is doing the things they worked on. Losing someone is very difficult. Living the life that T wanted you all to live is a strong peaceful way to honor her. It will be difficult at times but it can happen

Yes
Too many emotions to write more
But yes

[Luce]

Originally Posted by Kiya

Right now I am working on restraining her howl of anguish that is building up (at this topic) so that the neighbors don't call the police or crisis team on me.
Ideas?

None other than to hold her with the utmost care and compassion. She is hurting.

We had howlers.
Stroke 'em while they howl it all out.

[Kiya]

Originally Posted by Luce

None other than to hold her with the utmost care and compassion. She is hurting.

We had howlers.
Stroke 'em while they howl it all out.

*choked up*... that sounds like what T would have said; your first line.

thanks