Intergration

Has anyone been through EMDR therapy and had their alters integrated? I'm working towards this and it scares the **** outta me. Something about us all becoming one person.

not sure because never did EMDR

Here are articles on Psych Central

https://www.google.com/url?q=http://...4XY06XzsjcLxaA

https://www.google.com/url?q=http://...Gk24pJ16yX91bA

my alters all integrated, not through EMDR. for me integration was a natural process where as they were no longer needed to do their job, purpose, reason for being they merged together with me to become one whole person again....

heres how it happened with me....

i was born to my parents (one whole person) then before the age of 5 I underwent extreme abuse that my under 5 year mind was unable to handle. My mind dissociated (created Alternate personalities) to handle what I could not at such a young age.they each had their own jobs, purposes, reasons for being to handle what I could not handle meaning they took care of anything that caused me to dissociate (feel numb, spaced out, disconnected.......) what caused me to dissociate (feel numb, spaced out, disconnected) is called a trigger like anxiety, stress, and many other triggers both positive and negative triggers. Each time I dissociated an alter who's job, purpose reason for being was to handle that situation/trigger would take over to do their job, purpose reason for being. then trough many years of therapy I learned how to handle those things that caused me to have my dissociative symptoms. since the alters were no longer needed to do those things for me they just merged together with me back into one whole person again...

now that I am one whole person again i now have full control over my emotions, what I do, what I say.....everything that was the alters became me. my life is much calmer, predictable, stable.

Have been through it... Is not easy for DID. Tho likely the "best", it has to be done carefully by a trauma therapist who really understands DID. Cannot be used on all alters. Can sometimes put them further into trance state or dissociation. Is not one size fits all.
Many t 's now agree that integration isn't the therapy goal any more, but more of a cohesive working together with everyone on the same page toward the same goals

i saw a very harmful therapist years ago who i was trying EMDR with. i have no idea how many times i tried it versus just talking to her, but because she was not a professional like i thought she was and pushed some of her personal beliefs on me (and was just, no pun intended, crazy), it caused me a lot of harm.

i talked to my psychiatrist who does EMDR and for me said she would not recommend it due to my dissociation. that was years ago..but recently she said she could try hypnotherapy (i assume to help with the dissociated parts, memories, etc.).

i do remember years ago having way more active parts, voices/thoughts, non stop noise and non stop dissociation...but then after i had my eating disorder managed, things oddly seemed to quiet down. not sure how it happened since i experienced all that before the eating disorder too.

so, i think that sometimes, it can naturally happen too where things quiet down/integrate.

for myself, i am not so into trying to integrate more because i find it too difficult to even go to my psychiatrist (who is also a therapist apparently) because of anxiety in general...otherwise, i might do therapy more regularly...except i realize for myself that it could cause things to be disrupted more as a result...so i have chosen to just let things go how they will go and when it feels right maybe will give things a try.

I think that sounds smart. Best to you !

Ex T had me do EMDr twice. It was horrible. Totally shut down and couldnt stop switching. We couldnt finish it. Then she had me do it another day. Another disaster.

Integration is impossible for me because I'm crazy that way. I think working together is the way to go, at least for me. Good luck.

I couldn't do EMDR. Either I would lock up and nothing would happen, or I would totally fall apart and then feel like I'd been retraumatized all over again. It would leave me physically exhausted and emotionally all worked up, to where I could not concentrate on my job and normal daily stuff I needed to do. It also made it impossible for me to contain the distress at the end of the EMDR session. It spilled out between sessions and it was too hard to remain functional.

For me, T and I managed to group " like" alters together. Helps with some memory gaps of just growing up and non trauma stuff. Yesterday we were triggered by a tv show and had session today and tried to group them (3) but didn't work. Groups for me have helped with being less scattered.