It's a theory

My "partner" which I would've never got with in a million years just informed me that DID is a theory. That everything "I" do, I'm responsible for because they are all me, so I/we did it.

I'm so like- jaw drop.

Baffled. How can I be responsible if I wasn't there really there?

I'm so tired as being the sensible one doing clean up, it's embarrasing as hell. So not happy.

Tell me it's my fault and I will go quietly shoot myself right now.

Always, is your partner a health care professional with credentials. I have never heard an article, blog or post that assigned blame to a person with a mental illness.

Perhaps your partner is not the best person to share your challenges with if they continue to provoke you like that.

DID a theory..... not in the USA. here a theory is defined as an unproven guess, unproven technique, something that may or may not exist. Here in america the disorder DID has been proven to exist (otherwise the american Psychiatric Association would not recognize it as a mental disorder, which it does since they put it in the DSM 5 with other USA recognized mental disorders)

that said other countries .....outside the USA.....it may not be a recognized mental disorder (a theory).

everything that the alters do, you are responsible for, unfortunately yes that is the way it is treated. and please do not shoot yourself... the present treatment options in the USA at this time center on things like communication, grounding, establishing rules, togetherness, accountability as a whole system since it is one whole physical body in which everyone resides.

example in general if someone got caught on camera committing a crime or doing wrong what would the camera film, what would people outside the body see... they would not be able to see those that reside with in, and depending upon whether they know that person has DID or not will not know that it wasnt Rainy doing wrong it was thelma. in general society sees one person doing wrong and the punishment /consequence for that wrong is against who they have proof against that committed that wrong..

therefore treatment for DID carries over this way society deals with wrong doing. As one collective whole.

someday maybe there will be a way to ensure the alter that did the crime or wrong doing is the one dealing with the dealing with the state and federal laws/prison time\ punishments\consequences that states\towns and communities see fit to give in reference to the wrong doing. but until that can happen its the way it is.

if you feel an alter is getting you in situations where they do wrong talk with your treatment providers. they will help you to set your system up so that there are boundaries /rules so that you all do not end up inpatient due to being a danger to one self and others or unable to control their self due to mental illness\incompetent . (which is usually how my location deals with situations where there is an alter who can not follow rules/boundaries/laws. sometimes another responsible adult outside that persons system of alters is court appointed guardian to take care of the mentally ill person with DID and their system of alters so that they can live outpatient status)

I feel so devalued. I'm so done with it. The line was crossed, so tired of it.

If it weren't for these bipolar meds I'd be all messed up.

I so hate right now. Problem is, hate what?

This kinda came up with me and t, then I brought it up to pnurse - if you don't mind my sharing.
T goes with the theory thing... they are all me... and WC holds the anger, and has the self harming actions.
That's all she can see. A one-dimensional piece of self walled off from me that "holds anger and acts out".
It isn't a full picture. Yes, that alter holds anger, but also fear, grief, depression. She acts out, but does not harm others and is also a protector of alters.
Pnurse helped that alter recover from t session by discounting what t said - and reaffirming "They are real. They ARE real." It hit both she and I and my selves like a 100 mile an hour wind. The relief of being seen, being known, being *known as self*, not as "just a piece of Kiya".
Does that help?

I don't know hun, there are things the others do that I'd never do.

Just so disgusted, that's all. I think I'm past it now.

There is nothing wrong with it being called a 'theory' A theory is a set of statements or principles used to explain certain phenomena or facts. The emphasis is on facts, there. A theory is the term given to describe something that is generally accepted as true: ie, the theory of gravity, or relativity, or evolution (the last of which may or may not be accepted as true by a subset of individuals in the US but in other parts of the world is generally recognised as fact).
That said, I don't think that is what the person in question meant, from what you have told us here. It seems like you were saying she does not 'believe' in it.

No matter. She can't even use English appropriately, so who could expect her to understand DID.

Oh yeah, as for the responsibility thing.. yep, it's all on every-body in the body. All for one and one for all. Legally and morally you can cop it for the lot.

"All the more reason to gain co-consciousness, my dear."

Thank you, you are right. It was an all out attack. I'm told I'm acting weird, I might have a brain tumor, or I'm "acting" just to screw with my partners head.

The others have stayed unrecognized for out of fear of discovery thus shattering the bodies cultivated image, but that charade has gone on long enough. We still do our part, but we're more relaxed about it. No one can tell, except those that live with me.

The stress of having to come across as a single entity, it's like fighting oneself for control of behavior, fear of being noticed, afraid to say something "out of character", always on guard, second guessing, tense.

A lot of us is so tired of living that way- stressed