Memories and More...

[TRIGGER WARNING]
Sexual & Physical

Currently undiagnosed but feel like I have some type of dissociative disorder.

Caused by: My older sister having really bad mood swings when she was 16, I would kind of provoke her but come on I was only 5. She would grab me tightly and shake me, yell at me in my face. Grab a pillow or something and throw it at me angrily or hit me with it. One time going as far as to shove me against the fridge causing me to bruise my knee. This cycle did not stop until she hit 18, no matter what my parents said or did.

I have had multiple nightmares of me being molested but I cannot see who the person is but I can feel everything. The bed is a old bed we had in the house a few years ago. I am unsure if this memory is real or not, bit it could explain my mistrust of men and not liking being touched. What do you think guys?
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what are my thoughts on what you posted? Im sorry you are having these memories. we can not tell you whether these memories are real or the cause of your mistrust in men.

what I can say is sometimes with memories it doesnt matter whether they are real or not. the brain is an amazing thing. it forms memories not only on what is literal and real but also on how we are feeling, things we think about, things that scare us...

my suggestion is continue working with your treatment providers. they can explain to you what you are diagnosed with and how these memories fit in with how you were diagnosed and how to best work your way through them so that they no longer bother you.

I'm sorry hun for your traumatic past, but I couldn't really tell you anything. I hope things are better for you today. luv