[onebody]

Hope I do this right, seems complicated.
Just a question.
Maybe there's no answer.
I have maybe somewhat separated ego states. I am not DID, I do not really lose time.
But sometimes my states seem so real.
Sometimes they are so themselves.
And sometimes i don't even know they are there.
And sometimes, oftentimes, I don't even know who I am.
This sucks.
Onebody

[ShadowsinTheDay]

This might help... I don't know.

http://books.google.com/books?id=p6M...82W41Quw#PPR18,M1

ShadowsinTheDay

[kimmydawn]

Hi, onebody, and welcome!

You did it right.

Are you in therapy at all?

A person can have very separate parts without being DID, and it sounds like you do. I guess the big difference would be the "loss of time" and another part taking over when the main part has no control and/or memory that would take it closer to the DID dx.

I'm glad you posted. We're here...

KD

[onebody]

Ya, not that separate, but I dunno what I supposed to do bout it.
Ya, I got a T, but i don't think she quite knows what to do w/me, and neither do I.
Its frustrating being so inconsistant.
Its frustrating not knowing who I am.
Its frustrating that I can't stay the one I want to be.
Its frustrating when all gets upset and all have diff opinions and be dissing me left and right.
I just dunno what to do.
I am tired of being like this.
Thanks for listening to me and thanks for replys.

[bipolar_bear]

You may consider asking for a t who specializes with DID . Just a thought.

BB

[onebody]

Thanks for reply.
My T is sliding scale, and she has stuck with a pretty challenging me.
I trust her mostly, FINALLY.
Took almost a coupla years.
I truly think I not DID but a step down from that. Like its on a continuum, and I not so far along that continuum.
My T is very careful which is good, but she also has a very busy life....so I don't know how much time she would have to do research. She does ongoingly study stuff. Also seminars and stuff.
I am also afraid that to emphasise the parts would only make them worse.
When I am stressed they get bad. But when all is calm its not noticable really, at least its not any kind of a problem.
I just don't know what to do.
I am lost.

[wanttoheal]

Hi onebody,
I'm glad you have a T who is willing to stick with you and figure things out. Sometimes it takes a while I think. I'm sorry you feel so lost. Hang in there. I hope things improve soon for you.

Keep plugging away at it.

This could turn out to be a good experience for you AND your T.

Another option is to ask your T if she knows anyone specializing in DID that could work with you from time to time..

either way I send good thoughts.

[Crystal88]

A friend of mine went on line trying to diagnose herself because she thought she had alters and stuff. But after she saw a psychiatrist and did some tests it came out that she had somethnig called Dual Personality Disorder. Its not DID. It has something to do with a schizophrenia type disorder, but its like having DID cause she has one other personality. Maybe this is what you have. they gave her medicine and that has helped her problems and stuff with her other personality.

[onebody]

Hi, thanks guys.
How come it says re:"whoever "when I reply? I mean to just reply to all in general, can I make it do that?
Anyhow I doubt a DID T would even take me,cuz i not DID, just split. I did look it up, and there was a couple, but they don't do sliding scale so thats out for me.
My T did try to get me into a govt DBT program, but it didn't work out.
I don't have alot of optioms re: T's really.
I wish I understood the splitness better. I think its cuz I not so split that it makes it confusing. I guess with real DID its so much more obvious.
Sometimes its plain as the nose on my face. Sometimes I think I ********ting myself.
Its just nuts. (pardon the pun).
I am getting tired of T.
Spinning my wheels, getting nowhere...

what didn't work out with the DBT program?

[onebody]

I been thinking.
I been thinking its VERY important to give respect to your splitness.
To respect the others
To treat them as you you treat a stranger, with decency and respect.
Just cuz they in the same body and maybe qwe not so fond of this body and its ways and even if we think we badf sometimes we STILL goto be rspectful and kind and not treat anyone bad.
%#@&#! I HATE THIS. I just want to be the same. I don't %#@&#! wanto be mixed %#@&#! up so much.
HATE IT HATE IT.
I just thank my Creator that I not DID, that I don't lose time. I send best thots to DID people. It must be so hard sometimes.
Sometimes its good to be split. Its safer. But sometimes I hate it so much.
How do people cope with either splitness or DID, HOW DO THEY COPE????????????????
Tired. I just tired of this.
Sorry.

[onebody]

Alex, it me!!!
Its the program where I did one series of sessions, and thewn they put me in anxiety group and I got the boot for making the anxious ones more anxious or somethinf?!?
I got freaked by the relaxation. I thot I handled it very well, but next thing I know I got a call to not come back.
%#@&#! govt servicers are %#@&#!.
This posting here is confusing????