Broaching The Subject Of Future Plans

Hi, there. I've been spending some time talking with my others about what it is we want out of our future in terms of career, and where we want to live. The only thing we seem to agree on is we need to move out from home. Dealing with the memories, according to our Protector, will be much easier if we're not in that house.

The problem is we can't agree on anything else. In terms of career: one wants to be a professional author, the other wants to start a business, another wants to go back to school to be a nurse. The other wants to drop everything, pack a bag and see the world. And our depressed one, well she doesn't want to be here at all.

Don't get me started on where we should move to.

It's a little frustrating because everyone wants something different, and that arguing leaves us running in circles.

My question is has anyone broached this subject with their others? Have you come to an agreement on what to do with the future? Do you have any tips on how we can come to find a common solution? I don't want to favour one alter over the other. The only one I'm not really paying attention to is our depressed one.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. .

You know what, I amounted to being a drifter, we never could make our mind up. We had no clue as to what we wanted to be. Did do a couple years of college, but a total blank. We pretty much just bounced day to day, ending up where we are today by chance. Of course, we weren't aware of our condition.

I wanted to be an engineer, the Musician wanted to do Jazz, an other wanted straight academics, an other wanted to party, an other wanted to have a band, an other wanted to be a porn star, an other a mother, so essentially, we did nothing but lots of drugs and alcohol.

Best I can say is take a system wide vote, or go with whomever is out the most, and stick with it. Good luck!

-Steve

with me there was never the question of whats in the future,make one decision and do that. we did it all. what I man by that is each of my alters had their own way of being, their own jobs, purposes reasons for being. this in itself dictated how and what they did when they were in control of the body. one was a musician, one was a writer, one was a teacher, one was a traveler, one was a therapist.... the list goes on.

example when the traveler was in control of the body they went to france, went to the grand canyon, went to where ever they wanted to. sometimes I would come back to the present moment and not know where I was. I would have to locate a phone or police station or a police officer. make a call back to my family who would help me get back home again. sometimes this would happen to the extent where I would discover I was living a completely separate life somewhere other than where the aware self lived.

it was just how my life was as a dissociative with DID. the questions of what to do only happened .....after....I and my alters were integrated. everything they were became me. do I continue with my chosen profession or do I go with the feelings of the others professions, do i stay put or do I honor this urge to travel. do I write or paint, bottom line was just because I was integrated doesnt mean I have to choose one thing just like before I was integrated I didnt have only one activity. my wife andI make sure that even though I am integrated we still honor all those things. I still paint, I still travel, I still teach/tutor, and yes i still have more than one home, my wife and I have our city home and we have a home\summer camping place upstate in the country, we also honor the traveler in me by planning vacations that include traveling. my wife and i feel theres no need to choose which alter was right and which alters way to follow. they were each equally important and a part of me and still are just in a different way now.

Steve, thank you so much for sharing. This is extremely helpful. I hope you're all well. Take care.

Thank you for sharing. . I'm certain this will help us.

i have never had any of that...the only thing i know of is the need to be somewhere/feel safe.

i cannot make any plans except day to day type stuff when it comes up..not because of confusion on what to do, but more because nothing else seems to exist for me.

i am who is here most the time, but i am still missing the 'what do i want to do with my life' aspect of things. i'm not sure why..it just has always been like that....well, okay, a lot of it is out of fear (and the fear of dissociating as well).

i would LOVE to be able to have the ability to want to do something more than just what i do day to day..it just doesn't seem to exist.

i am also bad at following through with things as simple as volunteering somewhere because of the fear....of having to get somewhere..of what happens if i panic or dissociate, etc. just so many rules it seems.....so it's easier to just do my day to day stuff and see how i feel when other things happen...which doesn't leave me open to many opportunities either though because not much really happens if you don't leave the house much.

at least now i can be around people a bit more...family anyway.....and strangers as needed for short amounts of time..but anything else seems too difficult/scary.

right now, my focus is on trying to find a place to live on my own as my house has been sold. it is a very difficult thing to be faced with, and inside things are kind of a mess from the fear and chaos of it.

i suppose for me, my others are not all that separate from me...i know they exist 'just' in my head..as in they don't live outward lives..just inside...and can confuse me a lot in general...but sometimes i wouldn't mind if stronger ones would come forward more..not just 'through' me, but just them...maybe other things would happen since that fear might not be so bad..

I get it. We had the same struggles for years. We still all want to live in different places though. And several still want to do different careers. In the end we all ended up compromising on somehing we could all live with

Actually, we did it all, and still did drugs and alcohol! Lol.

No engineering degree, but I read blueprints and build things, computers and websites. Our muscian had a band and played for 20 years. We had a kid. Plenty of porn sex here. And everyday was a party.

I'm beginning to think that would be the best thing to do- let each alter do their own thing. We can't come to any agreement. So, we'll try to factor in everyone, and let each person be who they want to be. Except the depressed one. Or then, we won't be doing anything at all.

Everyone is so different! And all equally as hard-headed about what they want. They're all equally as important, each with their own dream. Considering what they do for their host day in and day out, the least I can do is let them pursue their own goals.

I am glad that you all were able to experience a part of the lives you've wanted to live . Not many can say that.

You go sweety. We're actually trying to figure out what we want to do now, but we are so confused because we are constantly switching. It's so like the guys have got to go to work, we actually feel like we're in limbo now.

To be young and dumb again....I wish!

I hope you all figure out everything you all need to. .

Good luck!