Out of the Fog

So, it feels like I just woke up. Like I snapped out of a deep sleep. I'm on my way home with my liftclub. Almost home. I look down at my clothes: grey jersey, grey jeans with the patterns I painted on weeks ago. I don't remember putting these clothes on, or ironing. I don't remember my day at work.

I remember crying last night before bed, and laughing really hard on Friday. That's it.

Before I "came to", I heard voices. I recognise two of the three. One was isabelle, our caregiver/negotiator and the other was our Protector, Shara.
Shara was asking Isabelle to step back, and let me be. They were whispering. Isabelle didn't want to go back inside. It made Shara irritated. "She needs to see what's wrong," said Shara. Isabelle must have listened, because here I am. Me.

I'm typing this out more as a log for me, so that I can take note of what I heard, and when I came to.

I don't know what Shara wants me to see, to know, to notice.

*sigh*

... It's feels like I need to play some catch up.

Anyway, hello all . How are you all doing?

That can be so destabilizing for you, I can understand how you feel. Most often, our host misses her appointments with T (because there's been quite a lot of switching and she happens to not be present for the meetings) and T always catches her up on what we have said.
I hope you can feel better and that your others will catch you up on what you missed.

probably a good thing that they're letting you have time in front. yay protector for initiating that. yeah - now a game of catch up. it is unsettling.

we had the opposite thing with the clothes last week after giving a lecture - one younger one thought we were wearing the first top we'd tried on. At the end of my lecture, we swapped and she went to hang on the ends of the shirt corners - and they weren't there because I'd changed tops, and she went into a panic. Stuff like that is unsettling.
so anyway, welcome back

I can really understand what you're going through ---- Half way through Monday morning I 'realised' in that 'clearing of the fog' kind of a way, that I could not remember what I had done over the weekend. I really tried but it was just blank! Even now, the only thing that has returned is watching the live Glastonbury stream on Saturday afternoon, with a beer. Thats it. Just an hour out of the whole weekend.

Thank you for sharing, Sarah. . I am feeling much better.

Maybe, the others can help me remember. To be honest, I'm happier with the gap. I'm afraid that if I ask, it'll bring up something I can't handle.

Great job to all of you for helping your host out with therapy.

Thank you for sharing, Kiya , and for welcoming me back. It's good to be back, for sure!

Did everything turn out alright with little one?

Hey, Justagir1. Thank you for sharing. , and welcome back. I hope that you remember at least some fragments of the weekend-only the good bits.

I think if we don't remember some parts, there's probably a good reason- one that the others know about.

Thanks for the subject and I hope that you go well.

One time I "snapped too" and found myself living in another state in a trailer in the woods with a partner that had kids. I literally wondered "what happened and how did I get here?". My next thought was "well, here I am, let's go with the flow and see what happens next".

yeah - we're at a point where, when overwhelmed we all just stop talking, and too bad for whoever is around. everyone wanted to talk to me after the presentation (I was teaching therapists about DID because NO ONE here has a clue!) and with people milling, questions being asked that I said I would not take questions afterward, and my needing to get materials picked up, and the system needing to GET OUT OF THERE! we just stopped talking (and I talked to little one internally), packed, and ran for the door - with the therapist running after me with more questions. Eventually she figured out I was not present and let me go. lol
ahhh the joys of DID.