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#1
Jul 23, 2015, 12:13 PM
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I am bipolar but there is something peculiar about me that I was wondering if some of you could give me some information about. Since I was pretty young I have had approximately 4 different people in my head that I would become depending on the situation. I didn't really notice very well until I was older. The transformation has always been more subtle in public with me suppressing certain features of these people as much as I can. Sometimes some of them seem to go away for a while, if I am especially distracted or if I dont encounter situations where they are needed but usually one in particular creeps back in, other times he begins to take control especially when I hear or see certain things, he loves fear it seems to make him thrive. There are also times when he takes over and I have to fight for control again. I was abused physically and emotionally until around the age of 18 or 19 I cant remember most of my childhood either because certain worse things happened, maybe that caused it.
My main questions are:
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 Anonymous48690, Fuzzybear
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#2
Jul 23, 2015, 01:17 PM
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~Alters do fight for control. Our big rivalry is Susie versus Steve. They think one or the other is better suited to run the show. Actually Steve fights for control which in turns pisses Susie off, so they tussle. ~I don't think alters disappear permanently, if not needed they seem to go dormant. They might not come out for years until they're needed. Some alters are created to hold trauma memories and gets buried- in other words, you got more than you are aware of. I've got hundreds, but 25 named ones that present through out the day. An alter has a job to do. A coping skill, function like friending, talking, working, etc. Susie is the the homebody and she shows feelings of empathy and fondness because all the males are drones. The carpenter goes to work. Sarah is the cook. Steven is the friendly male liaison, Hoolio is male sex god, Barbie is the female love goddess, etc. ~I'm bipolar affected with ultra rapid cycles and I've always thought some mood changes triggered switches, like if I'm in a chirpy happy mood and then I have an instant pole reverse, another comes out that can handle the depressed mood. ~When I wasn't aware of alters switching, the only thing I could tell was that I always felt like a different person, then I became the next one up, if that makes sense. We're also to switch on request if one thinks anther can do a better job, or for the heck of it. Being co-conscience, I'm able to talk, discuss, vote with the others and come across as a singleton. I hope this helps some. 
Last edited by Anonymous48690; Jul 23, 2015 at 01:34 PM. |
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#3
Jul 23, 2015, 01:42 PM
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dissociation is a reaction to a trigger. what that means is when someone encounters something they can not handle whether its positive or negative they start having dissociative symptoms (feeling numb, spaced out, foggy minded, disconnected from their self , their environment or both) these are perfectly normal reactions to have and can happen with any mental physical or normal situations. from there the dissociative symptoms move into the various dissociative disorders. what america recognizes as dissociative disorders are in my link at the bottom of my post. thats the basics of dissociation. now for your questions.. normally what happens is alternate personalities are created in children under the age of 5 (my locations statistics/demographics) from that moment on during childhood and on into adulthood and on up to the point where the alters all integrate (become one whole person again) any time that person with dissociative type alters gets triggered, they dissociate and an alter just automatically takes over control of the body to take care of what the triggered one cant handle. the fighting for control usually happens as part of the healing process where once the alters /body born person (which ever way it happens for for each person) have learned how to control their triggers and reactions/grounding. example when ever I was depressed/suicidal my alter rainy would take over control and handle those things that was triggering me to feel this way. she was the alter that contained my sadness, depression and suicidal thoughts. but after I learned how to handle being depressed, sad and handle those depressive sad times in my life and use my grounding skills. there was a bit of a fight of my staying in the present moment (not dissociating) and Rainy trying to do her job, purpose reason for being which was to handle those situations for me. over time and as I continued to heal and handle those situations on my own Rainy was no longer needed to take care of those situations, the result was she merged together with me to become one whole person again. no they did not lay dormant to where I felt they were gone. dissociative type alters do not leave, go away or die off, thats one of the distinctions between alters induced by other mental disorders and other physical health problems. they affect a persons life in every aspect of their lives according to when and how that person gets triggered and dissociates. I knew my alters were permanently no longer taking control when everything they were became me ie when i had rainys memories, mannerisms, language, thoughts, everything that rainy was became me. thats when I knew I would permanently no longer be dissociating into becoming rainy. there was no need to everything she was, became me. any mental disorder has the possibility of creating alternate personalities. but bipolar (psychosis, paranoia, delusions, hallucinatory)created alternate personalities are not the same as dissociative type alternate personalities. the treatment for bipolar related psychosis, paranoia, delusions, hallucinations will make this type of alter go away, come back go away come back depending upon whether the meds are working, what dosage and such related to bipolar disorder. this is how my treatment providers were able to tell whether my problem was bipolar related or dissociative related. I was not co conscious with a majority of my dissociative type alters so I did not know when they took control or not. but because DID is a dissociative disorder I learned how to tell when they were going to take control based on what my triggers were that caused me to dissociate and knowing which alternate personalities job, purpose, reason for being was to handle that trigger... example if I started feeling sad, depressed, suicidal, needing to cry I knew that if I didnt use my grounding and other therapeutic skills I learned in therapy then rainy was going to take control and handle those situations for me because thats what her job, purpose, reason for being created was, my suggestion is if you think you are having alternate personality problems contact your treatment providers. they can assess what the problem is and tell you directly related to you and your problems whether you have DID,OSDD (the only dissociative disorders that have alternate personalities recognized in the USA other locations may have others they recognize) andget you on the right treatment for it so that you will soon start feeling better. |
 ensconce
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#4
Jul 23, 2015, 02:41 PM
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My alters do not fight for control. Now they do fight with each other like the littles are always in trouble. I have main players if it wasn't for them I would never leave the house.
I have alters hiding they come out when needed or triggered. I know when the switch happens all depends on what we're doing or if we're going somewhere. You should see me in T. Splitting like the whole hour it's crazy. |
| Anonymous48690
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#5
Jul 23, 2015, 06:02 PM
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for me, they just come and go...sometimes randomly..sometimes not for months or years...there is no real 'system' to how mine work. it's just a free for all. even when i 'think' i should be dissociating more, it doesn't always happen, so i don't even understand how it works for me since there is zero pattern, no way of knowing when it will happen or even why. i can be calm with nothing happening in my life and not even triggers i know of that can cause things to increase or have a lot of chaos and not be dissociating. it's frustrating sometimes.
but in saying that, i don't have total black out periods, although i do end up not remembering after the dissociation lessens and i come back 100%. i kind of blend with them..or rather they blend with me and each other..sometimes can be a few at once..i can feel them and get confused between who they are and who i am...it's....strange..and i still cannot put it into words or explain it. there are so many variations for how it is for me. it also has changed over the years. |
| Anonymous48690
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#6
Jul 25, 2015, 01:06 AM
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Thank you amandalouise and everyone else for the great information. I think the problem I have is distinguishing whether what I am experiencing is psychosis which never goes away or DID. When I hear stuff in my head it sounds almost like i'm talking to myself, like i'm in control in my head, but its a deep distorted voice in there. There's also another with a normal voice but erratic behavior and the other one that even has a different accent and thinks differently(hes very analytical). I know for sure theres people in my head but I don't know if its psychosis or DID and its driving me crazy. The best way to describe it would be that somehow i'm either losing control without noticing and its them talking to me or whoever they are, they are somehow combining with me, the normal me and giving me their characteristics and voice for a while. I don't know if this even makes sense, i'm thinking it might just be psychosis
Last edited by ensconce; Jul 25, 2015 at 01:20 AM. |
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#7
Jul 25, 2015, 08:57 AM
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#8
Jul 25, 2015, 09:08 AM
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if I had given what you posted to my own treatment providers the one thing that would point them in the right direction would be the wording of my post...example if I perceived the voices as "like talking to myself" and "another normal voice" and "like Im in control" ... when I use this kind of wording my treatment providers would say to me that I answered my own question that this is normal and is neither psychosis nor DID. that I was just over analyzing my thoughts and actions. People normally do talk to their self in many different tones, accents, behavior patterns. then my own treatment provider would go more into detail of what they think of this by saying... the term psychosis is when someone is out of touch with reality, thinking,, talking , believing seeing things that can not possibly be real....example right now Im sitting here having a cup of coffee. but if I look at that coffee and see something that cant possibly be real say an alien swimming in my coffee (exaggerated example yes but just showing the point...an alien cant possibly be swimming in my coffee so that would be a psychosis symptom) the post doesnt say Im talking to aliens or the king of Saim, or other cant possibly be real people, places, things. thats another distinguishing feature between psychosis and DID. with DID reality testing remains intact which mean the person having the symptoms knows whats real and what isnt, knows whether their voices are real or not, knows whether the voices are their own vs if they are their alters. looking at your post again as if it was my own my treatment providers would say to me that the voices are not my DID voices because I perceive them as my own not rainy's (the post doesnt say like talking to someone else, it says like talking to myself) because Im perceiving this as talking to myself not someone else my treatment providers would say sorry not a DID symptom. then to top it off if I had wrote your post my treatment provider would point out that DID isnt like breaking a bone or getting a virus. the symptom is there since very early childhood so if these voices were just starting to happen then its not DID. then my treatment provider would say to me think about how with completely normal things in my life dont cause me to be afraid and upset by them. most people with DID that hear voices and have people in their heads do not see this as something to be afraid of because they have been this way almost all their lives. therefore (using the wording from your post) perceiving it as "its driving me crazy" would again point to the problem is not a DID problem. what is ones "normal" does not drive someone crazy. mind you we can not make any diagnosis of your own situation. for that and to find out which \what this problem is with in you, you will need to contact your own (or a) treatment provider in your off the computer location. |
| ensconce
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#9
Jul 25, 2015, 04:22 PM
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| amandalouise
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| amandalouise
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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