[just2b]

So I am not the host...but an apparently normal part. And have been really dissociated with parts and influence from such parts too. So cant seem to maintain myself to be present. Parents are very triggering. I often feel like a teen or young child when around them. I have tried to put them in a place that my T and I developed but no luck in keeping them out of the way so that the visit can go as smooth as possible. Wondering if anyone has solutions on how to stay more present? I often do not even know I am dissociated until its way to late and resorted to a teen..Plus have a hard time with people always saying your an adult act like one...that gets under my skin.

[pegasus]

Can you use distraction techniques when your parents are around and limit your time with them? By distraction techniques, I mean perhaps holding a clicky pen that you can fiddle with, or touch something near you to keep you grounded.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by just2b

So I am not the host...but an apparently normal part. And have been really dissociated with parts and influence from such parts too. So cant seem to maintain myself to be present. Parents are very triggering. I often feel like a teen or young child when around them. I have tried to put them in a place that my T and I developed but no luck in keeping them out of the way so that the visit can go as smooth as possible. Wondering if anyone has solutions on how to stay more present? I often do not even know I am dissociated until its way to late and resorted to a teen..Plus have a hard time with people always saying your an adult act like one...that gets under my skin.

when I am around a particularly trying relative i make sure I have plenty of time to take care of myself....go on a walk, take a refreshing shower or bath, make suggestions like hey I see you are getting low on milk I think Ill go to the store and pick some up for you, is there anything else I can get to help out while Im here? this gives me time to breath and take in nature. Even just going out on the porch or back yard for a 5 minute breather helps me so much to stay grounded and present during visits with this trying relative.

I also take with me things to do while there...knitting crocheting, quilting, sketching, my photography equipment, recipes I enjoy and want to share, books,...my lap top....

[just2b]

i am here for a visit and leave tomorrow...I havent been grounded all week. nothing helps state of fogginess all week...cant wait to get home...

Wondering what others think of this...at lunch today...mom says your not blank...so who are you, those arent her eyes...so I say I am an Apparently Normal Part..then she says I wish I could see my daughter and punch you in the face....that of course caused much more dissociation...how does anyone deal with people that just dont get us?? I am not host..but it even affected me.

Honestly parents are in 70's so how much longer to deal with them.? sad to say but it will be better for host.that is just my take. host been MIA since June