For those that know...is it stressful? Do you find yourself? Can it be done unaided? What's the process? Do the memory gaps disappear? Are your days like normal? Do you feel like one person all the time? Etc.

A descriptive response is most desired. Thank you.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

For those that know...is it stressful? Do you find yourself? Can it be done unaided? What's the process? Do the memory gaps disappear? Are your days like normal? Do you feel like one person all the time? Etc.

A descriptive response is most desired. Thank you.

it is just like being a normal non DID person. no chaos, no voices, no one sabotaging. only one person in total control of their thoughts and behaviors. everything that was the alters becomes one with the person they have integrated with...

example it used to be rainys job, purpose reason for being to cry and handle my depression and depressive times. now that she is integrated I am able to cry and handle my own depression and depressive times. part of rainy's job, purpose reason for being was to contain all my sad memories. before integration I had no sad memories. after integration I gained those memories back so that I know what those memories are and can handle them on my own.

no it is not painful, no it is not stressful. most if not all times it just happens. its a natural process, there is no big, have to do this or that. its just as natural as talking with your treatment provider one day and not being able to answer the questions then after integration happens you know the answers. just part of the healing process.

can it be undone no it can not, here in america once integration happens the person is no longer called DID because they no longer have alters taking control.

that said a person can go through partial integration where some of their alters integrate and others do not, and in some cases it sometimes takes a while to discover there are deeper buried alters that have been taking control since very early childhood, but because of the lack of co consciousness with these alters the person may not know they exist until after other alters have integrated.

yes I feel like one person all the time, it is my emotions, my memories, I am the one in control. that doesnt mean there isnt times when I may feel like a little child or confused or other things. this in my location is something treatment providers believe is completely normal and theres even a therapy technique around this normal issue called the child with in.

yes it can be done unaided and most if not all the time it is completed unaided (as in you dont need a hypnotist like in greatly exagerated and most times not accurate movies) integration is just learning how to handle things on your own rather than dissociating to escape what ever is triggering you to dissociate, once you are healed to the point where the alters are no longer needed they just naturally merge in together again just like being a normal human being again.

my days are very normal, I do everything any other married woman with three children, a job and a home, hobbies,......does.

[stomt]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

For those that know...is it stressful? Do you find yourself? Can it be done unaided? What's the process? Do the memory gaps disappear? Are your days like normal? Do you feel like one person all the time? Etc.

A descriptive response is most desired. Thank you.

For me it is very stressful. It feels so weird to me. My T described it like a balloon that's full of air you get so use to feeling like that floaty and disconnected. That when you integrate the balloon goes back to its natural shape which feels different because you've been functioning the other way so long.

After I've done some integration I find that I'm better for a while. There are more times lately that I feel like a whole person than not. Of course at times I still dissociate but it lasts for less time than it use to and the feelings don't scare me as much as they did. I'm about to start back with some more integration work and it scares me as it feels very destabilizing for a bit but after it's been nice to feel whole for a while. I hope this helps!